Wanderlust

wan·der·lust  (wndr-lst)

n.

A very strong or irresistible impulse to travel.

I am sure that many of you have seen this word floating around the social medias, especially pinterest. The irresistible impulse to travel. I feel like most people get a twitch of wanderlust every now and then. A passing urge, the silent need, but I feel like I need to self diagnose myself with this. I have started noting a few disturbing trends over the last few years. 

I cannot stay put. I need to be exploring and moving constantly. It started in high school but it was quiet, just a secret desire. In college it grew, and it called me to study abroad. I loved that experience. It was so amazing, but everywhere I went everywhere that I checked off my list gave me hundreds more places to visit. And so, in trying to shorten my travel list, I have expanded it to so many countries, states, islands and Continents. I get so itchy staying in one place. 

Unfortunately it all comes back to finances. Even if you can find a job that pays expenses, it rarely pays for other bills and debt. Which is awful. 

So plow on, work hard, get out of debt. That is my motto. Because once I get out of debt, I will be everywhere.  

Maybe I have this wrong.

2 things people should know about me before I start this off.

1. I HATE conflict between people I love. It stresses me out to no end. Makes my insides squeam and crawl. I can;t sleep over it sometimes. Makes me anxious. This is just over two people I love fighting...not even me in an argument.
2. My family is full of the most stubborn, religious and caring people in the world, but boy are they stubborn. They are drawn right down the line on their politics and I am fairly sure that each one would die for their politics. They believe deeply all that they believe. Which is a great thing! I whole heartedly believe that both sides working together is the only way that progress happens and that both sides are fighting for a better world.

I think it is easy to see all the differences in the arguments because we like seeing differences. We see something hear something that we don't like and we want to put as much distance from that person or idea as we possibly can. And in many cases that may be true, but can we see what we agree on?

A HUGE example is the war on welfare. Obviously more liberal minded people can feel that the government should take care of the poor and elderly and sick. Society should take care of them through the government. A Liberal can also see a Conservative as heartless because they don't believe that the government should take care of the aforementioned poor, elderly or sick. It is easy to look at that and say, well "Republicans hate poor people" but we forget that many of the Republicans donate large amounts of money to charities, churches and other institutions that help the sick elderly and poor (actually the top 1% donates more than the other 99% combined). They are just doing it in a different way.

What I am trying to say, and maybe i am not eloquent enough to articulate it correctly is that we are all the same. We have a passion, a belief, a view for a better tomorrow and we work so hard to see that happen. Would a liberal minded person vote for a Republican who promised not to change any laws affecting women's rights, gay marriage, or medicare? Would a Republican vote for someone who would not change those laws either but would fight to cut the spending?

 Both parties see a better America, both offer solutions to create that place. My thought is can we lay the differences aside and work for a tomorrow. Not a better one. Not a brighter one. Not a more equal one. but one where we are existing and thriving again as a country. One that offered real solutions. One where we accept that it takes sacrifice and hard work. One that teaches everyone what it means to support each other. One where we help our neighbors where the Gov't can't afford to.

We all want a brighter America. We all want the dream. We all can achieve the dream. But the reason we don't is because we have forgotten that it doesn't happen overnight, in years, maybe even in your lifetime. If you come to this country as an immigrant. you may not become rich, maybe your kids get an education, then they are successful and they propel their kids to be more successful. If you start out in poverty you honestly won't be a millionaire by the time you die. But you can improve, you can walk up the ladder. And as a country we can walk up the ladder. We can give everyone the rights they deserve and then teach them to better themselves. Teach them to go and take their future. But we can only do that together. Right and left coming together working together and loving together.

I hope it makes sense. Maybe I got it wrong.

Irony

It's terrible to me that, one day into the season of thankfulness I find myself griping about all the things I am not happy about, things I want, things I don't like. I have had to step back several times in the past 24 hours and say "wait, life is actually really great right now. Why am I being so negative and grumpy about life?
I need to remember all the things I have been blessed with. I need to remember to thank God for giving me those things. I feel so guilty after catching myself feeling that way because there are so many people who have less, or have had so much taken away and they are more thankful than I am.
So I am spending this holiday season working hard on only being thankful and really trying to not want.

The Brightside

It's easy for me to forget how lucky I am sometimes. I have a truly blessed life, and sometimes it is so much easier to look at the negative or the wants then to look at all the amazing things I am surrounded by. Every now and then it is good for me to take a step back and just remind myself of the great things that I have and that I am doing.

As many people know, I am in the middle of the interview process, waiting to hear back after they check my references. Waiting is killing me! You have no idea, I am impatient, love surprises, but hate waiting for them! This whole process has taken about 3 weeks and there have been times where I am discouraged or anxious about the whole process, but I need to remember that not only am I in the running for a full time position, in my field, but that I also am working while I am waiting and things are working out OK. I have been so blessed and lucky in this and there are so many less fortunate than I. I have also been able to start my own side business, not to mention Capital Couples, which I have been helping Kevin on.

Secondly, I have a truly amazing boyfriend. There are times when he exasperates me beyond belief, times when I would like one moment alone in our too small apt, but at the end of the day, I am still glad that he is beside me. Never have I felt as loved, cared for and cherished as I do when I am with him. I am lucky to have him in my life and can't believe it has already been 3 years. I am excited for this new chapter in the adventure that is our relationship. He is so good about finding new and exciting things for us to do.

Finally, the support I have from my friends and family is completely overwhelming. I can only begin to imagine my life with out them. It is nice to know that you have someone to turn to if anything were to fall out of place. I also have been making a few new friends in DC and that has been really cool as well.

So basically, this was a quick short blog to thank everyone for being so loving and wonderful, and a time to sit and reflect on all the great things, instead of the anxiety that life can bring to distract you from all that is right.

Money Matters

I have been spending a lot of time lately (lack of full time employment to blame) reading up on news articles from Huffington Post, msn, cnn, ny-times, the washington post, The Atlantic and I have seen a global trend. Everyone is spending more than they make. The US,  Japan, and all over Europe are in debt and are risking bankruptcy. Throughout Europe, countries are relying on countries that have been responsible with their income/outgo budget to give them money to carry on.

The problem is this: Giving money to a person who is habitually failing is like giving an alcoholic a drink, it is not going to solve the problem. Someone, (a financial expert most likely) needs to teach the people of the world how to budget. You could have all the money in the world, but if you cannot budget that money, you will eventually run out. This is why impoverished people who win the lottery often go bankrupt, they spend and spend and spend and don't plan financially.

To add on, citizens of these countries are demanding certain "perks," for lack of a better word, to be provided by our government. It is not a bad thing to want specific services and help. It is normal to want help and support and it would be great if the government could provide these things. And please, do not misunderstand me, I want people who can not afford to help them selves to be helped. But if you look at the debt, America can no longer support the services that it wants to provide. If you take the USA's financial situation looking at it like you would a normal household. Maybe so it looks more doable, lopping off a few zeros, so instead of the debt being trillions, it is merely thousands. Instead of dealing with billions in a budget, it is hundreds. If you begin to "balance America's check book," in the way you balance your own personal, it is completely obvious that there are only 2 options to move forward: increase income decrease outgo.

Before I get into this, I would like to say a few things. First I want to awknowledge that I have lived an EXTREMELY short and sheltered life. I am not claiming to be any sort of an expert, nor am I claiming to understand finance or anything about policies.

Secondly, I will do my absolute best to be non-partisan.  I will cite articles when I use them, try to be balanced in my political opinions, because the specific services that are provided are not what I am talking about. I am merely trying to take us back to the monetary values we had before the 1920's, before credit cards were invented.

I would like to use principles that are taught by personal finance guys like Dave Ramsey (yes Lesley, I can hear your sigh and see the eye rolling now), and then just my own limited experience when I talk about this.. I am going to talk about the US budget, talk about Europe's economy, and then just common sense principles. Just observing on the medias that I have seen and what I would do if I was in charge, which thankfully I am not.

My boyfriend and I recently moved in together, before we did, we looked at our current bills, and then looked at our projected incomes and tightly budgeted our selves for that. We looked at housing in the area, gave our self the recommended 25% to spend on housing and started looking at apartments. Our budget was going to let us spend about $1,500 a month for an apartment. We chose a place that was only $1075 a month but farther away from the city, because we wanted to pocket that extra savings and pay off my student loans or go on mini vacations and weekend trips quicker and with greater ease. After housing came transportation, so we averaged out how much the metro would be per month and it was goingto be about $300 a month per person, then we budgeted for food, allowing our selves to spend about $75 a week on groceries. After that we began adding on amenities, we shopped around on internet, cable, decor, cars and chose things that were in our budget. We chose not to get cable TV, using only internet because we decided that we didn't have the money to spend on that. We are looking to purchase a car. So we are looking to save up and buy one with cash. Not a loan. We cannot afford a monthly car payment, and we don't want to have one. We decided that we will leave our lights off during the day, and keep the thermostats fairly high, because we are trying to cut our budget down. As of right now, we can pay all of our bills off of Kevin's income (minus my student loans of course) but that is right where we want to be, because if one of us loses our job, or takes a pay cut, we will be able to make it. Having good credit is important to us. We are looking to buy a house or condo, and really start our life together. Which requires lots of saving, we cannot do that if we are spending all that we make each month.

Now, to relate that back to the larger more grand scale: when looking at a countries deficit, there are only two options. Make more money, or spend less. Because our debt is so high, it would be ideal if they could do both. Think of planned parent hood as cable tv, think of welfare and food stamps as internet, think of veteran services as your car payment, all of these things are great when you can afford them, but now it is time to make some really hard sacrifices. Honestly it really sucks, I can tell you that I personally don't want to live with out TV. I like having recorded shows at my finger tips, but there were things that were way more important to me and my boyfriend. I am definitely not trying to trivialize the help that these people recieve, I am not trying to say that they don't deserve it, just that from a fiscal view, we can't afford to do it.

I think that part of the problem is that people want the government to take care of them, and I mean who doesn't? I would love to have some help, and would love to have to do less. Many times doing less is still so much. I worked 2 jobs in college, worked 25+ hours a week. I interned for free 15 hours a week, I also went to school full time and graduated with fairly good grades. I know that people who need help work extremely hard. But on the flip side, I had one low limit credit card that I regret using. I am in the process of paying it off and once it is done I am cutting it up. Because being in debt is not the way that I want to live.

If countries like Germany and Canada can have great benefits and good education then why can't America? Because Germany looked at its costs and said to provide these services this is what it is going to cost. They were spending less that they made, and they were able to be a profitable country. They have been carrying the euro, and countries like Greece, Italy, Ireland, and Spain are all depending on Germany's responsibility. America hasn't done that realistically.

I know that every once and a while people need help. Something happens and we need a little extra, but we cannot make that the norm. The national debt calculator is only going up. We have been aware of it for years. And all these cuts that congress is making and people are protesting and everyone hates, that will only make the budget work out to 0. That won't begin to pay off any of the debt. I remember 3-4 years ago when people were yelling and screaming about how high the debt is, and they are the same people who want all the benefits. I am not blaming it on one party. I am blaming it on people.

Forbes does interviews with the wealthiest people in the world, and almost all of them said the way to be wealthy is to stay out of debt. Debt completely consumes this country. Gone are the days when hard working Americans save up as much as they can, and spend that saved money. We buy cars, update our phones, move into more house than we can afford, we have kids, buy clothes, go out, go on vacations all with money that we don't actually have. You may think that this isnt you, and for a very small percentage of people, maybe this isnt you. But anyone who uses a credit card, takes out pay day loans, has a loan on a car, student loans, you are all spending more than you can afford. I am not exempting my self from this. I have made mistakes, I took out student loans and am now paying for them. I have a credit card. But I am actively working to not be that way. I also understand that things come up, sickness, car breaks down, things like this that are so out of the ordinary that you are completely unprepared. there is nothing you can do but borrow to rectify the situation. Obviously, there are exceptions, and in a perfect world, if you are financially stable, you can be prepared for these situations and not have to borrow, but if you do, then please make it your effort to pay it back.

I think the world has to come to the realization, that yes we can rely on the government to take care of things like our health care and our poor, like some people want, but all of Americans need to be ready to step up and pay for them. We can also, say WE will take care of these things. We can start non-profits, so that the sick, and hungry and veterans can survive, and they don't depend on the government, or at least SOLELY on the Government. Statistics say that the upper class gives way over half of all the money recieved to non-profits. What if we all stepped up our giving? What if churches, synogages, and mosques all opened their doors and took on the lead role of helping people once again. I know so many of these religious organizations do, and I am not trying to speak ill of anyone. But we are always so focused on being unique and different, what about the bottom line we are all the same. We are all people. And people need to help people.

During World War II the government urged people to plant Victory Gardens, they stopped selling metals because they needed them for planes and ships. What if they reused that wonderful campaign? Instead of sending those resources for troops they used it to get out of debt. People could donate money to a non-profit that was solely in charge in getting us out of debt. You could have memberships to raise money. We could join forces with our neighbors to allow us to rely on each other, we as a people, come together, all over the country to stop diseases, protect nature, feed the hungry, promote awareness, because all of these things have been thrust upon us in a terrible way. Even if we were only able to help out with a few million, and maybe take some pressure off of the outgo, maybe we can help in a small way. What if we found someone who is on government support, or an organization, or a school and we spent a small amount of money helping out people. Maybe we could begin to change things.

I think it comes back to the image people want to display and instant gratification, and for most people I believe that that image is always being new and flashy. Everyone wants everything now. So people borrow, take and spend unwisely to do the things that they want to do. I am not being critical, I understand that sometimes people want to do things, and that they justify it. I have had my faults, buying a new xbox game when I could spend that $20 on loans, food, gas or even giving it away. But I am trying to make this the rare exception and not the norm. Everyone wants to be financially secure and successful. But people don't understand the hard work and sacrifice that it takes to get there on the grander scheme. Living below their means, investing money wisely, not borrowing, driving the same cars until they are dead. They don't waste money on things that they don't need, and then when they have that extra money, they are still living below what they earn.

That is why multi-million dollar jack pot winners go bankrupt, because they were not taught to use their money wisely. People need to be aware of how they spend their money and Dave Ramsey's first step is having a written budget that they calculate each month. People need to direct their money, not have their money direct them. I just want America to be able to recover from this horrendous debt that it has accrued, and that wont happen until the world, and the people in it say we cannot afford this, so we cannot do it anymore. We need to bring people back to a majority of being debt free. We need to get back to saving up to by things and not letting our emotion get the best of us. We can help people turn their lives around, but it starts with knowledge.

I guess what I am saying is that people need to be aware that the only way out of this financial problem, is for government to stop spending, and then rallying together to support each other until we can work our way out of this debt. That is going to be completely long term. Like decades from now long term. It is going to take rebuilding a society, and living on the basics until we can make enough money to support the services that we want. Why is it solely the Government's job to take care of us. I want to know where does personal responsibility come in? What as a human being should I be required to do? And instead of have the government regulate that, why can't parents teach their kids that? I know that it is tough working 40+ hours a week then coming home and trying to then parent children. But I know so many families who have had both parents working their whole lives and they have raised excellent children, with good morals, a clear sense of what is right and wrong, and fighting actively for what they stand for. I have seen this on both sides of the party line as my own family is split in the middle and I am still proud of who they are. Inside, they are all good people, trying to live their lives helping people the best they can.

Writers Block

For me, writing is a passion, a passion that I rarely provide my self with time for, but a soothing passion nonetheless. I am sure that people reading this would say, "Well, if it is a passion then why wouldn't you want to make time for it. Shouldn't it be an all consuming beast eating your time and energy? Feasting on your social life and your sanity?" To them I would say "Snarky, metaphor using reader, that is just the problem." I go through stages, and the Libra in me won't let me actually get devoured by the muses. I go through these terrible stages as a writer and then I become depressed, making my writing depressing to read. Which then, in turn makes me more depressed and so on. I have to tear my self out of it and close Microsoft Word and go out into the world. So because of this, I am going to write tonight, about the stages of me as a writer, and why I realized that I will never become great.

When I start out, I have immense writers block. I sit and stare and nothing come out. I have no idea where to begin, what to say, I have been away for too long. It is like when you haven't seen or spoken to an old friend and at first the conversation is awkward and forced but as the time passes things begin to flow, then I have the opposite of writers block. I have so much going on in my brain that I want to work vomit all over the page. I look at a blank page and see potential in my mind, but the words to communicate that vision are just gone, jumbled with everything else that is in there. Other story ideas, where the current characters should go, what kind of weaponry will they be needing, do I have enough suspense, what about fighting, how do you write a fighting scene, I need more characters, whats a good characters name, how many windows should this barn have, is this city small or large, how will I draft a map of this imaginary realm, what is this characters motivation, how do boys think...all of these things fighting for the front attention.

As I work through all of them, finally putting my mind at ease it is many many hours later, I most likely haven't eaten, and haven't even thought about doing anything else. This is usually as far as I let it go, because the more I write the more I have to write. This is a more healthy version of writing, I take breaks rest, but my desire to go out and speak with real people dwindles quickly. I go from fun loving, lets go out, try new things, and become simply happy drinking tea, writing. People ask me to hang out and I just make excuses, I find it is so much easier to be this way when I am living alone or with family. When I have roommates, it is harder for me to seclude my self.

From there I start to become a little bit depressed. Since I am not a crazy old wealthy lady who can afford to lock her self up in her room, writing until all hours of the night, I still have to function in the real world. So as I go to work, I realize I see people differently. Where once I saw fun individuals who I consider my friends. I see people who I work with, who's lives I am not apart of. I put my self as the outsider. I make myself the martyr, who people don't understand because to engage with these people I have to not write. The characters I write become so much more interesting to me. I see traits in people and weave them into my characters. I look at life so different than I do.

But because of this depression, my work suffers, things become dark when I write and in my life. This is where my needs and desires as a Libra become sorely out of balance. I want to be with people but feel that I am not ready to enter society because I love where my writing is going. If I leave, I may not come back, however if I stay, will I ever be in society again? my Libra wonders. It is hard. I can empathize with the writers who met their tragic ends. I understand the drinking and the pain. I have only experienced it on a small scale because being social has always won out. That is why I can never expect to get anything published. I cannot spend enough time in my work to complete it to a satisfactory level, because I need the human contact that my darker withdrawn self is too selfish to give.

I love writing and will always hope and try to be one, but it will always have to be a past time, and can never be anything more to me. It is a weird revelation to have, and an even weirder one to share. However as I sat looking at the blank web page of my blog that is what came to me, and what I saw. So I figured I would share.

The waiting is over

I have been here in the beautiful District of Columbia for almost 2 weeks now & my total world has be rocked, rolled and flipped upside down. Honestly, nothing about my life is the same. I mean sure, the basics are there, I am still healthy, happy and in student loan debt (who isn't though), but the day to day things are not. My relationship with Kevin is drastically different, where I live, what I do for a living, where I work, what I do on a Friday night, who I hang out with, the way I get around, my financial life, who I can talk to, who I hang out with, even who I talk to through out the day. It is all completely different than it was just a few short weeks ago.

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely wonderfully happy. I love the city, I love this life, I love having a place that I can decorate, I love waking up next to Kevin everyday, I love the history and the excitement, I love the metro, I love it all. But there is so much that I didn't think about when moving, or rather, that I forgot when I decided to move. Moving is nothing new for me. I get restless and anxious when I am in one place for too long. I don't know if that is because I have never found the *right* place for me, or if I am just a wandering soul who needs to constantly see new things and try new things. Either way, I am excited for what the future holds, because I cannot stand to be bored for too long. When I moved to California, I was seduced by the beach, sun and movie stars. I was going to find my self, figure out a career and really try to make it 'big' I was as excited for that adventure, as I am for this one, but my last venture was different in so many ways. For starters I was alone. I was moving in with family, and it was supposed to be for a summer. I was excited that first perfect summer was wonderful. I hung out with my awesome 10 year old cousin, we swam, we went on walks, went to the mall, it was a lot of fun. But when I realized I needed to extend my adventure, I went through a slump. I was actually all alone. I didn't have any friends. Sure my family was there and I was comforted by that. but I wanted to know people my age, who were on my path. Luckily I had school. I had a place where there were young people all over, who were awkward, excited and a lot like me.

I wouldn't necessarily say I had tons of friends in Southern California. I had my best friends Lesley and Rob; I had really great friends: All of my co-workers at Lincoln, Ashley Ramos, and a few from other jobs I had worked like Aerie, and then just a lot of acquaintances, if I ran into them at a bar, I was happy to see them, and would hang out. But there was something nice about knowing that these people were there. I could hit them up and see if anything was going to happen. Or just sit at home, with a bottle of wine, lesley, and episodes of monster in laws. It was great and comforting. I knew who I was, what I wanted and my life. I knew my schedule, I knew that I would have a pay check every 2 weeks. I knew what I wanted to do with a career, and I knew that I had a life.

Moving, as I said fulfilled the need I had for some adventure, but it made me leave a lot of things behind. As hard and challenging as it was having Kevin 2700 miles away, I knew what our relationship was. I knew when I would talk to him, what we would talk about, I knew the fights that we would have and what our special moments were going to be. I knew that I could pretty much do what I wanted, when I wanted. That has all changed now. For the better. Our relationship is great, it is strong and I still love him so much, but we are going into uncharted territories for both of us and we are both figuring out what it means and how we are supposed to react. We have new "spats" (I call them that because we haven't had a full on fight yet) about things that I didn't know would matter as much to him, or even me for that matter. We have been doing long distance on and off for the past 2.5 years, usually in like 3 month intervals (3 months of long-distance, then about 3 months time together then back again) this last stretch was 10 months long. We saw each other for 1 week every 6 weeks. It was honestly so hard, but it was comfortable. We always talked about when we were together, when we were not doing long distance, when 'our' life together was going to start...it always seemed like a far off, distant thing that was probably never going to happen. and now it is here. It is that time, that "one day" and it is such a weird thing to re-adjust a lifestyle and relationship. It is even weirder how easy and natural it actually is. There wasnt a weird thing about it. It had been 3 months since I had actually looked at his face (he had no internet so skype dates were hard), to go from not seeing him in 3 months, to all the sudden living with him, its a huge change. It's been amazing, but it is scary.

Another hard thing is not having my own friends, or my own life. Going out, it is just Kevin and I which I love, or with his friends. Which is also great. But something that is needed in every relationship is time apart, time that you are doing what you love to do. Or even making connections with people outside of the relationship. I want friends so badly, and know that they will come but making that first step and meeting new people is so hard. It takes a lot of time. I had forgotten about that. Most of the time, the only real interaction I will have with someone, (In person, real conversations) is with Kevin (well besides the random interactions crazy people on the bus, checker at the grocery store, barista at starbucks, tourist asking me for help with the metros----side note, I LOOK LIKE A LOCAL!----) I feel like my worries and insecurities and desires to have friendship were anticipated by God, as he sent an old friend into my life. Having breakfast with her was needed more than she will ever know. It is just nice to know that in the city there is someone else that I can talk to. Another friend is coming in about a week and hopefully I can reconnect with her as well.

In many ways, the move here is better than I thought it would be. I have started working, made about $500. while that is no where near what I need to be making it is a start. I can pay all my bills this month and next. I have absolutely no regrets in this move, which is great, and my relationship with Kevin has grown so much stronger. I love the adventures we have gone on, the sights that we have seen, and all our plans for the future. Our plans seem to keep evolving with all the things that we want to do. I am so happy that I get to do the adventure this time with my best friend. That we get to finally be on the same page in life. Life in DC is nothing like I imagined, and yet it is everything that I imagined. Things feel good here, and I am excited to spend the next chapter of my life in this fast paced, urban setting. I am excited for the things that DC has to offer and excited to see where my career goes. I am excited to be at the place that I always talked about being. (to decode that gibberish, I always would say "i can't wait till I am with Kevin every day." "Cant wait till I am in DC" "Can't wait till I am on the east coast" "Cant wait for a change" "Cant wait..." for once in a long time I am not in a place where I cant wait....I can wait. I am happy and at this moment in time, I am glad for what I have, glad for where I am, who I am with, and excited to live right here. Not that I didn't before, and not that I have no further dreams and aspirations, but just that I am excited to live this year and this life and if generally nothing changes, I will still be happy.

It's really happening...

Almost 3 years ago I made a big decision, I decided to pack up, and move to the wonderful land of California. It was one of the best decisions of my life. I met an amazing man, got to hang out with my rad family down here and add a few people to my ever growing family list. I got a great job that I absolutely love. And I get to work on a team full of strong women who are amazing at what they do with some of the biggest strongest hearts I have ever seen.

But, my inner gypsy always comes around and I begin to want to move on. And so yesterday made it official as of the end of June I am moving on. I am heading out to the east coast, DC to be exact to continue my career as a planner, and to continue my relationship with my man. I am torn right down the middle as I have been each time I make a hard choice because I love so many people in southern California and I cannot imagine them in my daily life, but I am so excited for this new chapter in my life and all the opportunity that it brings. I am going to miss everyone dearly, but know that this is the right choice for me and my future. :)

A Walk Down Memory Lane, that you may remember

Moving away is hard. It is hard to leave the people you love. Whether its to go to a new place filled with people you love but don't necessarily know too well, or to a place where you know no one, its hard. And while change is exciting and fun, its also scary and stressful. But you make some great memories doing it. I have friends in many different places, all with my own experiences and memories of them. And its so fun, from time to time, to go creep on their facebooks, to move from person to person that I went to high school with, was best friends in 1st grade with, or even just met at a random event, it is great to check them out and remember what we shared in that moment, or even who I was at that time.

I love looking at peoples pages of who I went to High School with. Its great seeing the lame lives of people who bullied me, or the great things that my favorite friends from them are doing. Its so weird to look at the lives of the people who you used to be so close to, but after one summer all drifted apart. Its fun to remember that perfect summer with your best friends, spent by the lake. Or the surprise party you threw for your best friend. Or the awesome trip to the zoo with my favorite person in College and her friends.

The weirdest part for me, is to look back through all these years of friends and acquaintances and to remember who I was then. My life and personality has been constantly developing and changing and growing to make me the person that I am today. I have become that person through a lot of different experiences and relationships and realizations. It is really great, but weird to see what was important to you at those moments.

I am looking to start a new location, and a new chapter in my life, and I am excited for it, but at the same time, not sure how ready I am to move on. I get bored easy when I stay in one place for too long, and so I want to be somewhere new for a while and just move around, and explore the great things that this earth has to offer while I can. But it is really hard to do, to leave behind all you know.

I guess you just have to trust that there is a greater plan that is being put into motion and that it is just about trusting that you are going to end up where you are meant to end up. And that is all that you can really do.

My Bucket list

I want a Bucket List, I mean I HAVE a bucketlist. Things to do before I die, but I want to say here they are world hold me accountable and let me do them! So I am going to post one. Did I mention that I dont actually know what a private life is? I am not really sure why people don't want to know every detail about my life, buut obviously they should!

1. Live in another country for at least a year
2. Own my own business
3. Publish at least ONE of the books I have started.
4. See a flash mob Finished this one!!! Thank you Eric and the boys of Dead off Center!! Follow them here: Facebook or @deadoffcenter
5. Be IN a flashmob (obvious reasons as to why this would be appealing to me)
6. Go rock climbing
7. Visit every state (I think I am 13 or 14 out of 50)
8. Write, record, and publish a rap Look on FB I have one. heard people want lyrics. I can post them!
9. Do 1 gig as a stand up comedian.
10. get 1K followers on Twitter
11. Get 10K page views on my blog
12. see all of the wonders of the world
13. road trip across America
14. back pack at least 1 European country
15. become completely debt free
16. Have an entourage
17. Be VIP at a party
18. Fly first class
19. Run a marathon
20. Go on an archaeological dig

These 20 things are all I can think of, but now they are online, anyone can see them and hold me accountable,  for these things and let me know when there are these opportunities. Please let me know!

Weekend Up Date

So, I know I know it happened again, a long period of time with out blogging, I know. You have my roommates to thank for their 'willful encouragement' in reminding me to blog. I am glad I am here. I am just very tired from my weekend. Let me start from Friday.

On Friday I went out with some girls from work in Camarillo. It was really fun, but I got there early. So as I was waiting, in my car, I was approached by a man, who said he was running for congressman. Which was silly because Kevin works in DC and he is looking for a job in the House. So I ask what his affiliation is, and he tells me one way, turns out, he is not at all relevant nor is he the affiliation he said to me. Which was weird. He was walking around passing out business cards trying to get votes. Weird. So then on to dinner and drinks with some work friends. We had a great time, went bowling and sang karaoke. Which is my favorite thing in the world! I love singing (read rapping) and love making people laugh. So it was a blast! That was pretty much my whole Friday.

Saturday was really weird, like really weird. I got a super random prank call. Or at least I hope it was. It really freaked me out. But after securing that all my loved ones were indeed safe, I headed into the valley to babysit for my cousin over night. On my way there, I was waved over by a man in a red pick up truck. He was telling me to pull over, it was the middle of the day on a busy off ramp and was on the phone with Kevin, so I stopped and cracked my window and he told me that he was a mechanic and that something sounded really weird on my car and that if I needed a mechanic I should call his shop. AKA a warning as to what was to come. I got to my cousins house finally and headed in. I was staying the night there, and my Iphone doesnt get service at her house. So I got plugged into her internet and started talking via I message. I had had Text plus however on my phone from before the days of Imessage and so it went off and I was accused of stealing a girls phone and using it to talk to her brother. (like I said, weird freaking day). But babysitting was great. Learned that I love children so much, but am no where near ready to take on the responsibility, dedication and time every single day that is needed to have children. I was worn out from just that one day!

So Sunday, I finished babysitting and came over to Lesley's Grandparents house for one of their bi-monthly Sunday dinners. Les' Grandpa is Italian, like moved over here from Italy Italian, so he makes delicious food and everyone drinks wine and has a great time. It was very fun. We watched the Kings game, and the Caps game (GO CAPS)!

On Monday, I had my spouse club event, there was a little bit of last minute scrambling. but we got it all worked out and the event went great, and we had a good time as did the residents. But on my way home, I was driving it was close to 9 at night, and stopped in for my second favorite food ever, Jack in the Box Tacos, and I heard something pop off in my car. The battery light was on, my power steering wasn't working, and I knew that this was not good. I quickly pulled out of the drive through and parked. Then called my roommates to come pick me up. I learned that I am usually an unlucky person. If something bad can happen it probably will. BUT I also have come to realize that I am a fairly Lucky unlucky person. For example. My car breaks down, But I drive on the 1 everyday, during the day when my roommates are working, and when I have an event earlier in the day. But the car breaks down AFTER the event, on my way home, past all the dark fields, and less than a mile away from my house where I am not even driving. Rob and Les come and get me, I call my dad, and luckily it is an inexpensive and fairly easy fix! We bought the parts and Rob was able to fix them today.

Today, was great. I worked 2 hours from home, wrote a rap, enjoyed a nice long hike, watched/helped Rob  fix my car (which is working great now) and then went and got some great food. I really love having roommates that really will look out for me and will be there when I need them. I appreciate everything that the do and would not be able to do survive with out them. It makes me feel a little less alone knowing that they are here and will bend over backwards for me at anytime. Love you guys!

Law and Order of all kinds

I do this to my self every time. I am here, alone, watching this show, every variation of it btw and then I stay and watch the marathons. I get so into it. I get so sucked into it. These wonderful cops come and save the day or don't. I don't know why I just get so sucked into it. I seriously love it.

But then as soon as I turn the tv off, as soon as that marathon is over and I am laying in bed i come to the realization that there is a murderer in my house. He has probably been there for forever. He is in my closet, or in the bathroom. Oh no wait! He must be outside! I heard those leaves. Now he is in the house again. There are probably a 100 murderers just watching me!!!! I knew it. So I turn the light on and play a video game or two. Or watch friends. and I forget about it. The murderers probably all left I tell my self. And I drift off the sleep.

The thing about that show, is that it makes you think that every time you are anywhere there are just people dying on the reg. That you are going to turn a corner and there will just be so many dead bodies. It is scary. But here I am watching the Criminal Intent Marathon on TV and am just enjoying it. Until tonight that is. bleeeeech.

Moulin Rouge aaannd Phantom of the Opera

This day, ohhh this day...well to say the least, it has been annoying. And its not like really crazy, its the kind of stuff where after talking about it people are like.....thats it? But when you are in it, its like basically apocalyptic. So in my best effort to forget about my first world problems, I got my Jack in the Box tacos. Came home, whipped out a puzzle, and watched me some Phantom of the Opera. I am now on to an old time favorite, Moulin Rouge.

There is something about musicals that really just make me happy about musical. It can be the most depressing story ever and I just feel so inspired afterwards I feel so happy. There is something about watching for me that is the same as a first kiss or a beautiful summer day. Life is good afterwards.

Also a big birthday Shout out to little brother Dylan!!! Happy 19th Birthday!!!!!

Carnival Day

Soo how cute is this???

Bona Fide Bride is an amazing site. The author, Kristin is a planner too, and she has some links to some great stuff. My favorite find are these great labels!!!! I am going to use them for my animal cracker snack pack!! It is going to be so cute!! They are a totally free download, and they are so precious. You can type in your information and then use it for your business, wedding, or just a cute label in organization!!

My idea is to get those frosted animal crackers put them in clear white bags, and take white card stock with these labels on top stapled over. I will be posting pictures later this week. I am so excited about it!!!

Here is the link to download all the different types your self: http://bonafidebride.blogspot.com/2010/01/vintage-whimsy.html

My top 5 websites for procrastination

I have a very unhealthy relationship with stress, my first inclination is to eat something. Big, greasy, crunchy and salty. Jack and the box tacos do the trick wonderfully, my expanding waistline non-withstanding. I have learned to quickly suppress that urge and replace it almost immediately with an all consuming urge to shop. In college I was able to curb this to buying two $10 tops from Forever 21 and not breaking the bank. BUT my new Dave Ramsey lifestyle to become completely debt free has been forcing me to look again at my finances and not splurge on anything. So that is out. So now, I came back to an old friend my Xbox 360. But what about during school or work or anytime that you are not near a TV and have 5 hours to waste. What about then? Well I use the all-powerful internet to fill my time. Here are my 5 favorite sites

5. Pinterest

Obviously. This is a great time filler and a way to pretend you have a wardrobe and designer and fabulous outfits. You go into dream mode with your house and wedding. You can pretend that you are living all the fitness tips and your weight is magically falling off. You repin those witty someecards imagining that it is you who is thinking of them, and will now start using these phrases.

"Well it is true!"

This is one of my favorites too and I do all these things above too, because I can plan the perfect wedding or find work ideas, or plan my house with 40 pools, 10 kitchens, 25 master suites, and a whole slew of living rooms, organized spaces, offices and libraries. All that is within a super sleek, shabby chic, modern inspired Castle. Probably in the South of France. 

4. Cracked

Sooooo, this site is amazing. I don't know how many people have read it. But I suggest you do so immediately. As long as you, and the good friends at Cracked promise not tell about how I stole their lay out for this Blog. 

They have guest writters, reappearing ones, Magician ones, silly ones. Its a great site, full of both humor and knowledge.

3. Meme Base

Everyone loves a good meme.

Ouch

This is linked to LOLcats, can I has cheezburger and many more. I love these a lot. Many funny ones in there.

I actually stopped writing this, because I got caught up in meme base.

2. Refinery29

This is a site full of how-tos, top ten lists, and just the overall success guide to fashion, career and a glamorous life in a city. They have 5 or 6 cities now, and are growing rapidly, but they have local spots to eat, and the appropriate attire, cute outfit ideas, and great gift ideas. They show you wonderful splurges and cute steals from local boutiques as well as big department stores. This is one of my favorite sites ever. 

1. Stumble upon

This site is widely popular I know. But it is the best. Get websites that are unknown, amazing pictures, even just cool ideas. You tell the site what you are looking for and it will deliver. It is awesome! I have found some pretty cool stuff from this site like the Side Walk Chalk Guy.....

uh-maze-zing

I'm Back!

This has been an eventful week. (Well I know. Its been since last Friday, but lets just call it a week.) I got to see Kevin. He came up for Easter, and then spent the week with him. It was awesome. But it was hard, he went back today. So don't mind the depression or the alcohol, but I am here to blog, and will be for the foreseeable future.

This has been a really chill mellow week for me, but a crazy eventful one at the same time. You don't think that that is possible, I know, but I will tell you all about it!

First thing, Friday of last week I had a great time out with friends, I got to hang out with a friend that was MIA since he was in a relationship, it was really great to catch up with him, he is a really nice guy. But the girlfriend reeled him back in, so I doubt we will be seeing him anytime soon. I deleted them from Facebook, just to minimize some potential drama, because I don't need that in my life. But it is a big deal because I NEVER delete people from Facebook. Like seriously never. I feel bad when I do it, but I know that it is the best thing to do, so I made the decision.

I don't know why I can't delete people. I don't feel anything from having them as my friends, there are some people on my list that I rarely have any interaction with. Even when I do, it is just stalking someone, seeing what they are up to. But I just can't bring myself to delete people. And I pretty much accept ANYONE. Its almost a sickness.

Secondly, I had a great staff meeting for work. It was really good to see what everyone else was planning for our Candyland event. It will be a huge event in September/October. We do a carnival type event and this year we are doing Candyland! It will be so cute! Pinterest has been my lifesaver. I have found some really great things on there. I am in charge of decor and signage, so I have found some really great ideas off of Pinterest and from what my coworkers have sent me from things that they have found. I am really excited about this event.

For my personal Carnival Day in June, I worked on it last week, and have booked a location, have my petting zoo, my magic show, my balloon animals, and my games almost all sorted out. I have to do my site walk and order some cupcakes coming up. I am planning on making a cupcake carousel too with animal crackers. I am super stoked. But before that can happen. I have my cake decorating class, which is going to be full, and then a couples trip to Magic Mountain! Going to be super fun times.

Finally, Kevin and I had such a great time together. I really love my life with him. It is just so natural. I mean the first dayish is weird and not like real life, but we quickly fall back into the routine of our life. It is nice to have these days with him, but it is almost bittersweet. We get to hang out and spend all day together, (minus the time spent at work) and then we have to go back to only texting/phone calls again. I feel like we get used to each other, and we have such a good time, and then we have to say good bye. We have spent more of our time apart or long distance than we have in the same city. Which has been really hard, but I think that it really has made us stronger and we are sure of what we want now. Its a big challenge sometimes, but the time we have together makes it all worth it.

See you all tomorrow ;)

Bee Bops and Lollipops: A Shout Out

For anyone in Snohomish, or even just Western Washington, and haven't yet heard, my parents just purchased a store in downtown Snohomish. It is the most darling thing you have ever seen! This is my mothers first venture as a business owner, and the self made entrepreneur is going to be a huge success. Click here to go in and see their Facebook page and follow them on their new journey. The store is absolutely adorable! My mother has a wonderful gift for design, party planning, and for crafting and creating something that is cute and unique to each person!

I am so proud of her in all that she does, because she is such an amazing woman and pushes her self so hard to be successful at everything she has tried, she is approaching this new endeavor as an exciting and wonderful opportunity. She is so ready for any challenge that may arise, and is confident that she can overcome it and grow so much stronger for it!

I admire my mother so much, she is everything that I aspire to be one day. A loving mother and wife, involved in my community, working at a job that I love, and still making time to pursue my own dreams and desires. My she and my father make a dynamic and unstoppable team that is held together by the love and dedication that they have to each other. I am so excited for both of them!

Please please follow the link above to check them out. If you are ever in Snohomish looking to stop by, they have some adorable products for children, they have a delectable candy bar, and a whole room for parties!

Check them out!

Baths, Beer, Books and....writing

There is nothing more relaxing and more wonderful than these four things. ESPECIALLY when you can combine them. Any of these combinations is completely wonderful and amazing. I try to do at least 2 of these a day. (Usually beer and writing, though the other two are just as great). I think that it is what keeps me sane through a busy or tough week. This week we are doing our district Easter Egg Hunts, and our bi-annual expo.

Shout to Mark from Element Fitness in Camarillo, CA. They do awesome boot camps and personal training for people! They are great! So helpful and knowledgeable! If you want to get back into shape, definitely check out their website here. Mark told me today that he read my blog it was embarrassing but kinda awesome. So he gets a shout out!

But anyways, this is an amazing time for me because I am so busy, we had our event last night with over 400 people, today was closer to 300 and then we finish up at Mugu tomorrow. It will be so amazing, both to execute the event, and to finish it! This is a really great feature about my job, I am able to go and do an event several times. Usually most events you work on for months, then in one night, usually just a few hours, it is over. Which is bittersweet. After pouring your heart and soul into a project and spending so much time going over all the details that few hours seem both so rewarding, but anti-climactic at the same time.

When you do it 3 times, 3 days in a row, it gets crazy. You love and hate it, you see ways to improve on it, but at the same time, you don't want to think about it anymore. But really it is a wonderful thing. come friday morning ill be exhausted and glad the event is done, but already excited for my ideas for next year. My next two events are very low work on my part on the day of the event. We are doing cake decorating in a few weeks, and then are doing a couples adventure to Magic Mountain after that. It will be great. Then we are doing the event that I am SO excited about. A kids Carnival. I am trying to make it seem like a traveling gypsy type carnival/midway games event. I have so many ideas and am so excited about this! I will be posting lots about this as I get more ideas and more things come to fruition!!!

Chicks be crazy

It is amazing to me that I am surrounded by people in wonderful and healthy relationships. I am so glad that I have role models that are mature and in a place where they can talk about the stuff that are their problems. I really love to see that, though there are problems in every relationship, they can work through it and their love will pull them through. Because what they have is more important than their fight.

This is true with so many people in my life I love watching their relationships grow and flourish and become stronger. They are amazing. Despite their problems. I get to learn from them and apply it to my relationship and make my relationship greater :)

I think that when you do long distance it makes it so hard and you completely depend on communication. I love my boyfriend so much and grow so close to him :) he comes home in 4 days!!!

Get published podcast

I listen to many podcasts during the week on many different subjects. Stitcher radio is the one I use, but there are many different types of ayers I'm sure. Today I listened to this American life from NPR I think it is, and one about getting published. The host is an aspiring writer himself. He has a few books coming out and stuff but as I went listening i walked away with some really helpful tips.

1. Treat every character like a hero. At first this seems odd, I mean they are called secondary and minor characters for a reason right? Do they really need all this insight and plot and backstory? They are nothing more than plot tools to keep the story moving right? Well my original thought to this is to agree. That it is unimportant to spend much time and development to each character because that is one thing you are warned against from the start f writing is to limit the number of named characters to make it easy to keep track and remain invested in the plot. But I think on the flip side it's important that in this story, in the world you have created they have their own story and their own life and experiences to bring them to the point that they are at in the story. If you look at each character realistically and treat them as a real character instead of a name or a stereotype, you will have characters that the reader can relate to and can understand. This also gives a drive and reason to the sub plots through out the book.

2. Be open to changing. This is a difficult one. If you are an author who writes because you enjoy it and you don't need the royalties that comes with it then you have more of a bargaining power. But if you are going to make a living and a lively hood off of it, you have to be willing to look at your writing objectively and not take critiques personally. Which can be hard. I have blogged about how these characters are like my children. That I have more insight into their lives than I do in my best friends or even my boyfriend's life. I know their want and fears. I know their lives. I created the adventure. It's too much to hear someone wants to improve upon your perfect work. But you have to look at it from a different perspective and see the true problems in the work and make the needed adjustment from the pros.

3. Work on many novels at once. There is nothing worse than wanting to write but being just done with your work i have been there 100000000000 times and just feeling like you have no inspiration for it. So you just walk away from your work. I feel like that is the worst thing you can do. If you are working on many stories, then you can put it away and work on something else or start something new! It's great!!!

I love writing! If there are other writers out there and you want to share work, let me know I'd love to see what you got and get comments on my stuff!

So I fell off the horse

Wow 2 weeks into my 1 year of blogging and I already missed 2 whole days!! Yikes. That's not good. But it was a dang good weekend. I went out with the roommates today then got to see some of my favorite kiddos!

The best thing is that in 6 days Kevin will be here for Easter :) I'm so excited its been over a month. We always have such a great time together and it's just so nice when he is home. I just feel like my life is whole again. I have my great friends and my main squeeze I just want to be here and with me for forever :)

Love him a lot. :)

The lottery is how much?!

500 million. 500 million. That is so much money. Sooooooo much. Can you imagine your life after 500 million dollars? I cannot. If I lived on that money with my current lifestyle, I could live for almost 90 years. With money left over. So am I going to buy a ticket? Probably not.

My current obsession with Dave Ramsey is influencing this one. He always says "the lottery is a tax on the poor". But I don't know if I believe it. I mean having 5 or 10 to put towards it is fine. But I wouldn't say spend 100 on it. I dunno. I always lose anyways soo it's not worth it to me.

Who knows no one could win this week too an then it could get even higher. But what a life changing moment for someone who does win. Wow.

Scrapbooking, Saints Row 2, and chips and salsa

I love these. All of these things! I am seriously addicted to all of these things. Scrapbooking however is hard because you always see new things that make you want to buy them and it's easy to spend all your money there. It's super crazy! But the good thing is, after buying everything you have a stockpile and can go do it when you are a little short on cash.

Saints row 2. For those of you who don't know, I love Xbox. Like almost unhealthily. It's my escape. What I do when I'm depressed or sad or lonely. It's great. Sometimes I do it when I am none of those things. And just because I love the game. I happened upon this game not too long ago (a few days to be exact) and knew I was going to have to buy it. Went to GameStop, and $19 later, I was playing it. It is so fun. It's very crude however. Not something for young kids. But it's my new obsession for the moment.

Finally chips and salsa. I am hooked. If video games are my alcoholic escape, chips are like my actual drug. Like my injection. I crave them all the time. I generally have a bag of tortilla chips with me always. It's bad. But so good!! I think it's the salt and the crunch combination that are too much to resist.

A lady I work with makes her own salsa and sells it for our company's charity. I have bought 2 jars and been given one. It's so freaking good. If any of you SOCal kids want some it's so delicious. I have the hookups. Let me know :)

Retail bleeeeeeech

I have worked retail or even just sales my whole working career. Well before my current job that is. And it always amazes me how people treat sales people. I have gotten "you-who's" across the store, Finger snaps, or rude excuuuuuuse me's" and sometimes you get the nice customers who love talking to you and are so friendly and it's so nice.

Theeeeen you get the people Who want to tell you everything about their lives. Or the crazy ex girl friends that they may have had.

I work with my roommate from time to time to help her out when the store needs coverage. And today when I was working we had a guy come in and talk to us for one hour about crazy dates that he had been on with crazy girls. We were slow but even when the customers would come in he would stop his story and wait till we were both back to resume.

It was really annoying. So if you are shopping please be kind and respectful and nice to the workers.

Tuesday's review

Soo, because I am doing a post a day for a year, I figure one day a week I can do a "cop out" and review a product, app or game that I use. Today goes with writing, listening, podcasts and an iPhone app. Stitcher radio is a great app for anyone who likes listening to podcasts or even live radio.

As you can see from the pictures it has so many options to choose from on a wide variety of shows and topics. It is also very easy to use. The shows are divided by not only content (finance, writing, politics) but also by you put shows you want to constantly be updated on and you can see lots of different topics.

It's a really great app. Anyone with an IPhone or iPad should get it and use it. I love stitcher :)

My bucket list

Flash mob!!! I finally got to see one!! So amazing! I was super happy that I had the opportunity to do this. Kevin's little brother is in a band, dead off center (they are super good) everyone should check them out.

They did such a good job with this flash mob and everyone had a great time. The people in the restaurant are super surprised and it was such a fun song for them to do!

This has always been something that I wanted to see, there is only one more flash mob related item on my Bucket list. And that is to actually be in one. But it always feels good to do something on the list and to experience new things!

I have video but have to upload it to youtube before I can show people via this blog. This was a really fun day for me and I got to spend more time with Kevins family which was really great too :)

A day in HB

I know that it's technically past midnight, but I haven't gone to sleep yet, so it's all good. I got to spend the evening with Kevin's mom. I was really nervous because I had never had any one on one time with her before. But as the night progressed I quickly realized I had nothing to worry about.

It was a really fun time we went to dinner and looked at Kevin's baby pictures, (Kevin was almost as cute a kid as me ;) ). Then we watched Hugo. Which was good, but I didn't understand how the robot tied into it. Like I understood that he drew things and that's all that was left of his legacy buuuuut, why was the robot created?? Ha oh well it was fun :)

So overall it was a really fun day to spend down here and really get to know more about Kevin's mom and family.

We didn't start the fire

So scary day at our house last night. If you never saw Lesley's post, our house caught on fire. Literally flames in the wall. It's really crazy. Luckily the mechanic was here to fix another problem, but it was still pretty scary.

The good thing is our house is fine we are all safe and our possessions are good too. But it's a scary thing to have something like this happen. Something that is so intrusive in your life. You are supposed to feel safe at home and not that I don't feel that way now but still it's frightening.

It's all good though :) life moves on and I have an exciting weekend ahead of me. I get to go watch a flash mob on Sunday. I can't tell you where though. I will be filming and taking pictures though! It will be my Sunday blog :)

Awkward hyper monkey child

I'm pretty sure when I moved in with les and rob, rob was not thrilled. Despite my hilarious jokes, rad personality, and awesome dance moves, I don't think rob was quite sold at this roomie situation. He was a great sport about it when I moved in. Helping me move, giving me an old tv, and, of course throwing the occasional nerd joke my way.

I think after my initial charm wore off, he was a tad bit annoyed at me. But lately I have noticed the blooming of a beautiful friendship. Haha. No but in all seriousness he and I will go running when les is working late and can't come. It's been really fun to get to know him better. Even though I'm sure he thinks of me as his and Lesley's little sister or as I like to joke the child that they never wanted.

One thing that's great about living with a married couple is that there is a man in the house and rob is a handy man at that. It is comforting to know that if anything besides spiders or coyotes were attacking the house he would be all over it.

Living with rob and les has been amazing, as I have said and even though they have done a lot for me, I have brought a lot to the table too. Modern Family. You're welcome! Xbox. Boom! .........that's actually all I can think of besides my jokes. But I hope to one day share the magical experiences of settlers of Catan. One day Rob. One day.

My Carnival Day!

I am so excited! I have been working on a Carnival day for about a month now. I am so excited about it. I have been pinning, imagining, thinking and planning this event. I want it to be amazing! I would love to use this in my portfolio (duh) and would love to really go all out.

I have lots of inspiration from Pinterest. I honestly am not sure how people created events with out them. Aside from my events, I have planned my future house (all 4 of them for all my styles and living room ideas). I have planned my wedding (obviously). Hundreds of clothing options. But for anyone who Pins, its old news. Everyone does that. My absolute favorite part of Pinterest is the inspiration that comes from it. This is something that I can procrastinate on, but it is actually helpful in my own work!I love seeing the ideas that the Pros do and the do-it-yourselfer can come up with. I love getting ideas and inspiration from this and really making it my own and fine tuning it to be mine.

I can just tell that beginning planners everywhere are rejoicing at this new site. Not only is it great advertising for them. They can show off the amazing things that they are doing, but they can also become inspired for up and coming jobs. It is a great collaboration of creative ideas and it really gives planners a way to get a better feel for their clients vision of the event. It is really a great tool. I am truly excited as a new planner to have this in my arsenal for my future career.

My Visit With Grandma and Grandpa

My family is huge. On both sides. They are a loud, opinionated. passionate, loving, and a little crazy bunch, but I love them all dearly. I have family spread out all over the west coast, from Southern California all the way up to Washington, where my parents live. I don't get to see the family that lives far away that often.Usually only when babies are born, graduations, weddings, and the occasional reunion or vacation. But when we do get to see each other it is a great time.

Tonight I got a surprise call from my Grandparents from Santa Rosa, CA. They were down in LA for the night and wanted to know if I could go see them. It was such a great surprise at the end of the day to get and to have the opportunity to spend some time with them before they headed back north. I drove down there after work and met up with them at their hotel. We went to dinner and talked the night away and were able to catch up on our lives.

I think the best part about seeing them, for me, is realizing how the relationships change with adults as you become one. Sometimes I forget that I am not a little girl anymore. That my parents, friends, grandparents people in general see me as an adult. Well, maybe not people in general, or people who just met me. I know I look really young, and act even younger so I am sure people think I am an immature high schooler sometimes, but aside from that, people do see me as an adult. That honestly brings a bit of responsibility and scariness that I am not ready for.

I can't wait around to get into something that I really want to do. Or wait to pursue my dream until I'm older and wiser, because I get the feeling that there is no magic age where you feel grown up or where you decide that you know enough. I feel like these grown ups that I have been looking at my whole lives for answers are just guessing too. They know what they did and what worked for them and try to give you the best advice they can. I guess that that is how everyone is, just guessing, making the best decisions they can with the information that they have. Thats normal I feel.

But how can you be an adult if you don't feel like that? I mean it is easy to feel like "Well, I am paying off my school loans then my life will start!" Or "After my long distance boyfriend and I get married, my real life will begin." Or even, "I'll be responsible and start living my life and accomplishing things when I am a grown up" I guess it just reinforces that you need to seize the day, live your life, and start working towards the things that you want to accomplish, because you are a grown up. I am a grown up.

I am a grown up.

Yikes.

Family Night

I have the best roomies ever! We have a lot of fun together. I have lived with a lot of people, a lot of girls, and even a another married couple. But there is something about Lesley and Rob that make living with them so special.

I think one of the great things about living with them is how similar they are to me. We have a lot of fun together, I mean even right now we are having a family night sitting in front the tv watching Alcatraz and then after watching smash! We have weekly family nights :) we usually have family dinners where we make nachos, we make our favorite dip, or sometimes are lame and just have pizza.

The best part of living with them is how close to Lesley I have become. We are very similar. And she isn't afraid to tell me when I am out of line, or when I am being too silly. She is seriously like the big sister I have never had and always wanted. I am so glad that she has opened up her home to me, letting me live with her and Rob. And that I have had the opportunity to get to know her better!

Love you les!

My Favorite Little Boogers!

When I moved to Southern California I left behind my whole family, and a ton of my friends. It was going to be a crazy adventure and I did have my family down here to keep me safe and happy. Growing up they were always "The California Cousins" I saw them once or twice a year and we had a great time, but I didn't know much about them. When I moved down here, I got to watch them get pregnant (twice each), give birth (twice each), and then watch all those children grow up.

These are obviously not ALL cousins

It has been such a fun part of my life to watch these children grow up and learn new things. I have loved babysitting them and seeing them discover the world. It is amazing to see them have their own personalities and talk and their own sense of humors. They are each the most special and most perfect little angels.

Obviously I love all my cousins kids, and miss the ones in Wa that I don't get to see as much, but it has been a great time here and I love all the Babies =)

St. Patricks Day

My whole family is Irish. Now I know that it isn't the straight out of Ireland fresh off the boat Ireland, but we have always been extremely proud of our heritage. Two years ago I had the opportunity to study abroad in Ireland and meet some of the most fantastic people ever. It was a great experience I was able to explore the countryside and meet some amazing people, Irish and American. So St. Patricks day tends to bring back a wave of nostalgia. I don't know what it is, maybe the Irish car bombs, Irish Pubs or just drunk texts from my friends.

I have been so blessed that I can keep in contact with all of these people and that we can watch each other grown in our lives. Its great to see them graduating school, falling in love, getting big time jobs, and making a difference in the world. It is great to see at the end of an experience that as we have fallen back into our lives and  gone back to the routine of life, we are all able to keep in contact and we are able to be supportive of each other. There is something that happens when you study abroad, a bond that comes. There are things about me that only they can relate to and understand. They are the only ones felt that way at the same time.

I miss them all dearly and loved that I was able to spend such a fun, adventurous and exciting time in my life with them. They are so wonderful and I love all of them so much! 

The actual 3.16.12

Last night posted the wrong date. Haha smooth Mal, maybe writing drunk isn't such a good idea for you. Anyways, I have a wonderful job. Even though I don't like actually doing work, they take such good care of us and I'm so blessed to have a job, let alone an amazing one.

They are nothing but wonderful to their employees and to their residents. They are always going above and beyond to make us feel great and do something extra for us. Today they are treating us to a day in San Diego and awarding those that are exceptional through out the company.

So many people from our district have been nominated for awards and it makes me so proud to work for my company Lincoln Military Housing.

A blog a day for a year

So I always start blogging, and then later I stop, usually a blog post or two later. So this is my commitment. That I will do a Blog Post a day for a year. I am not promising brilliance, nor long posts. But i will try to write everyday. So today I'm going to start with something about me that many people don't know about me.

I love writing and would love to one day publish a book. I currently have 5 novels going. I switch between them when I get inspired and have been working on one of them since high school. It's a long time I know. I have a lot written. Most of it is garbage but I just am so in love with the characters and the plot and the world I created that I can't even think for one second to let them go! The worst part about writing though is sharing your work. What you think is ground breaking, eloquent and well thought out tends to be, at least in my case, half thoughts that don't make any sense. One of my favorite quotes is by Hemingway when he says "write drunk. Edit sober" This phrase really rings true to me. Not because I like getting drunk, my love affair with a good cab non withstanding, but because when you're drunk your inhibitions are cleared your mind is free and my imagination soars! I find that I can completely explore the life I have created for the character. But then obviously when you're sober and you see the grammar and the misspelled words you also see the idea the beauty and the brilliance behind the idea.

I would have to say that there is nothing more satisfying in all the world to look at what you have written and to be happy with it. To hear what you created read aloud and it sounds like a real novel. Of course I fall prey to the feelings every writer has the third fourth and fifth time they hear their work and begin to scrutinize it and see every error and where a whole new idea could have been born. It's absolutely satisfying and heart breaking all at the same time.

It is also hard when you dont have another writer in your life because sometimes it is hard for other people to understand why you feel the need to be antisocial one day because you had a moment of inspiration. Or to nervously chew your fingers as you give someone a passage to read that you have labored at (for years in my case) and wait to hear their verdict, but not wanting to hear at the same time. It's a terribly wonderful feeling....or did I mean wonderfully terrible?? Might actually just be terrible.

Anyways, any site you go to tells you that writing everyday is the key to getting better, and as much as I want to believe I was born with an amazing god given great talent. But we can all clearly see that isn't true. So I truly hope that over the course of this year that my writing will grow as much as possible!  

My visit home!

This weekend I got to celebrate the marriage of one of my dearest and oldest friends, and also, my cousin. She has been so dear in my life for so long, and it was so amazing to celebrate this special day with her. With my job and such, I needed to leave the morning of. At 4:15 I was wide awake (who am I kidding? Barely awake), Three hours later, with the largest coffee I could find, I was boarding the airplane ready to head to WA.

I love seeing my friends and my family. I love going to them and catching up and seeing the incredible things that these girls are doing. Of the 9 of us that have remained friends, (now) are married. We are all in so many different places in our lives, but it is so wonderful that we can maintain our friendship and support each other in our lives.

My favorite part of the weekend was spending the last few hours I was home for talking with my mom. She is such an amazing woman and I love exchanging ideas with her. We have so many similar interest and our careers are taking us down a very similar path. So it is amazing to have her in my life. And to have her as a stable person in my life. She has so much talent and so much passion for what she does.

It is so easy to take things for granted, especially the good things that you have had all your life. My parents are so selfless and so giving to their family, always doing things for us and keeping us in their best interest all the time. They have been so constant and so supportive and I know that I would not be half of the women that I am today without them.

I love my life!

Vegas conference

This conference has been so amazing so far and it is only the second day in!! The speakers have such amazing and one of a kind experience and knowledge. The events that they show us are beyond incredible and I still cannot fathom how they thought up these ideas and visions! I would love to grab a drink with any one of these coordinators and just pick their brains. They are truly amazing.
One of the biggest and most important things that I have learned and seen is that you cannot be afraid to be yourself. If you want something go ahead and get it! Only you can get in your way. My favorite thing said was to be true to your self and your product. Don't be afraid to know what you cost and accept nothing less. Don't undersell yourself because you want to make a client happy.

Love what I'm seeing and can't wait to see my career grow in this industry.

Trade show tomorrow!!