The Lazy ship has set sail

Here is the thing, I have been so busy and it has been so hot that when I do have a moment that I am not working or babysitting, I just want to sleep. So I have slacked off seriously in my digital life. However my life is sorta changing a lot. My boyfriend of almost two years has an opportunity in DC so in a week we will start the long distance train all over again. He is going to do amazing over there and it really is the best thing for him. But it's gonna be a long four months.

I have three automatic ways to deal with stress.
1. Eating I have no money for new clothes or the plethora of food needed so that's gotta be out. Which leads me to...
2. drinking....well as my friends from Ireland will tell you sad mallory+alcohol =crying Mallory= worse situation then before. Plus no money.
3. Shopping. This is my personal fave, but as noted in #1&2 no money :(

Sooooooo what does this lead to? DIY projects!!!!! My house (and by house I mean apartment (and by apartment I mean room)) will be the cutest ever. I have so many ideas already, so this week I will be doing nothing more than some slight pouting and trying to spend as much time as possible with my boy, then it will be the start of many crafts for me. So if you are looking for some good home improvement ideas stick around and I'll give you some good ideas......hopefully.

I am a mountain.

Ha I wish. There are so many things I wish i was good at. One thing even. That at the end of the day I am this. I am not though. I have strengths, everyone does, I have things that I can pick up easily but i am in no way good. Marilyn Monroe has been somewhat of an inspiration for me lately. I have tried so hard to pretend that things don't bug me. That I am completely happy where I am and with who I am. That my goals are close and attainable, That i have no feelings of inadequacy.

It is hard. I have things that bug me. In securities that creep out. I could blame the tormentors of my past. But i have to acknowledge that it is I who give those claims weight. I am the one who lets it get to me. I still have wants. Needs. desires. requirements.

Truth be told, I will settle for less than i actually want unless i really push my self to not do that. It is hard.

I don't want to be this way. But who really does?

Life is what you make it, Sure, but there is only so much that you can do at a time. I can try but i am who i am. I have things that i need and want and it doesn't matter if i constantly repress these desires, I always want them. I have the normal desires; to be loved, to be successful, to thrive, to be wealthy. But there are other things that i want that sometimes i am embarrassed to say.

It is scary and hard to admit that your life is not where you want it. But admitting it, if only to your self is the first step in changing it i suppose.

I am a real person?

My Brother is graduated from High school. 

Yikes. 

I remember when I graduated from High School. It was not that long ago. I wanted to be anything and everything. I had like 5 potential jobs for my life. They were all grand, let me tell ya.

I was going to be a writer, own a book shop, a historian and part time archaeologist, I was going to see the world, probably join the peace corps and definitely win the Nobel Peace prize...or a tony.......

I had great dreams and was so free. I wanted to do everything that I could and wasn't about to let anything get in my way. 

When I look back on these 4 years since high school. I have accomplished a few of my goals, I got to see Europe, (though all that trip did was make the list of places to see grow even longer), and I have continued to write (the book has never been finished, but i do practice on the internet every now and then)...

And my list has definitely changed and matured, I mean I want to find a good job, I get to move out and have my own place, and I moved to California. I have grown up a lot in the past four years. A lot in two years and then a lot more in the next two years. 

I hope that in the next 4 years of my life, I will continue to grow but also not forget the dreams that I had when I was younger.

Being on this side of graduation I want to stress to all the younger people in college or heading there; don't waste time. Do exactly the things that you want to do. Don't worry about what people will think or if you will like it, or if you are nervous. The worst that can happen is that you fail at it. But at least you tried there are times that i look back at school and think what if? I am happy with where my life is, but there are other choices that i could have made in college that i wish i had, because when i look back i realize what i was afraid of really isnt a big deal.

So congrats all you high school grads. You are about to head out on the great adventure towards adulthood. =)

Ode to Google.

I have recently re-established my love for stand up comedy, and have started playing it on my Pandora Channel. (Thank God for Pandora right?) It is great. I get to listen to funny segments from the greatest comedians, Jerry Seinfeld, to the not so great, Frank...that guy who had a comedy central tv show for about a minute. I love it. If i was funnier i would be a standup comedian. It would literally be the best job ever, but because thats who my life works, i was born a girl and well, 99% of female comedians arent funny. 

But something that one person said really struck me. He said we are in the age of google. If you arent getting perfect grades in school you are either retarded or you are lazy. You can type in something from your bed and get hundreds of thousands of pages on it. You can lay in bed and type a few words in and have enough information to write a complete encyclopedia on it. 

Not too long ago you had to go to a library, go through all the cards in the dewey decimal system and then search the library to find one of the seven or eight books you were looking for. talk about terrible! I would have probably failed school because when i research something. I will spend at most an hour locating and gleaning information from these places. Thats it. One (1) hour. If i have to spend more than that, i am many things: angry, disgruntled and i stop caring. I will then proceed to stop caring for the rest of the semester. 

Thank God for google.

The worst part of this whole thing is that we are still stupid!!! We have the world of information at our finger tips, literally less than a minute away and still we cannot seem to educate people enough for real conversations. I am so disappointed in society. 

Well time for me to sign off. Dont want to miss "Only in America" with Larry the Cable Guy.....

;)

The Five Craziest People I Wish I Could Hang Out With.

There are so many crazy celebrities that I wish I could hang out with for just one day. I decided that I could totally be in an entourage. How awesome would just hanging out with celebs all day, being friends with them and getting sweet hook ups and helping them get crazy deals and gigs. So in the spirit of Entourage.....Here are the 5 people whose Entourage I would totally want to be in.

5. Katy Perry

Hanging out with Snoop Doggy Dog and layin on the beach of California would make her awesome to hang out with. She seems really down to earth but also ready to party. This Santa Barbara babe started off at the city college. Which is right by me! She can jet across the USA and act like an alien...which seems an awful lot like......


4.Lady Gaga

She once said that her cast members weren't allowed to have sex while on tour so that they would be able to make love to her onstage. Me and my Best Friend For Life (Conviently called BFFL) saw her in Dublin and have been somewhat intoxicated with her. She is the leader of the monsters and frankly she is an odd goose, or monster...but hanging with her would be wild and fun. I feel like she would be the one person who would just decide that the group was going somewhere to find the Monster Ball.....I would be so down.

3. Demetri Martin

If you have not heard his standup, then you need to stop reading this and go listen. He is the funniest person I have ever heard. He is a great singer and just overall amazing. He does standup on Comedy Central and is all around awesome. Going out for drinks with him would be like going to see a stand up....oh wait. No seriously I feel like you would just be laughing constantly and you wouldnt be able to be sad at all. The best part about him is that being in his entourage would allow you to hang out with him all the time and he isnt super popular so he wouldnt be constantly bombarded. perfection.

2. Will Ferrell

This man; If Will Ferrell was 20 years younger, I would marry him. No wait ten years younger, no wait, lets be honest. If you know Will and want to hook me up. Please do it. I love this man. Every movie he is in, I am so down. I basically peed my pants when I saw he was coming on the office. Talk about two perfect things colliding (is that a saying?). Will would be awesome because all his friends get to be in movies with him. Will Ferrell and John C Reilly have done a ton of movies together. Same with him and Steve Carell, David Koechner, and Vince Vaughn. They are all in each other's movies comedy endeavors and just in general they are awesome. I would love to hang out with them for a day.

1. Andy, Jorma, and Akiva from the Lonely Island

Ever since J in my P, I was in love and obsessed. I have seen all their videos, their shorts, and their songs. On a Boat was classic, (thank you SNL) but the really great thing about them is that they have Hot Rod, Which is hilarious. They have Awesome Town (Which I would love to move to) and there are two guys who are always having a good time and also happen to love sports. These three boys are comedy at its finest. BoomBox, On a Boat, Just had Sex, Jizz in my Pants. That is them. I would love to hang around that comedic genius all day. 

I wish I could budget like this.

I was reading the news, because I like to be well informed and hate doing homework. But I stumbled upon this. (Thats a hyperlink you can click it. I am proud that i figured out how to do this. Hey future employer call me and hire me! Look at how good i am at the internet!) Anyhoo, as I was reading I stumbled across this little story.

On the surface it seems good, then you think about it and it is bad then it gets better then worse. Let me take you through my thought process while reading it. For those of you too lazy to click the button, here is the title and my thoughts will be italicized.
 "US to give Libyan rebels $25 million in aid"
Ohhhhhh thats nice of us. We need to help out and rid the world of dictators and make the world as free as america.........wait $25 million.......thats a lot.

It goes on to read that we will be donating items that are needed for the Libyan people that we already have in stock. While this is great and we should be looking to help our neighbors, there should be other ways that we can do this. The government was just on the verge of a shut down and only agreed on a budget to take us through to the fall, but then we will be facing the same sort of issuses again. To me, it doesnt seem like donating $25 million is the best thing for the government. Does our government not realize that they dont get tax write-offs? that they are still going to be in debt when the new financial year comes and that they wont be recieving any money back? Hiliary Clinton was one of the people who advised Obama to sign on this, and i am going to keep bi-partisianship out of this, because helping out those who need it is a noble cause. But what if we are close to being one who needs help.

France, Italy and The United Kingdom all pledged soldiers to help in the "battlefield stalemate"

This is a scary world that we are living in. America has been a superpower for so long that now we feel like we are invincible. However, we are not the prosperous country that we used to be. Our money has flown away and we are on the verge of bankruptcy and owe more money than we are worth. Can we really afford to help Lybia financially? Is this another example of us spending money that we dont have? or is this America taking the stand for what is right?

It is tough to deny help, we have always been support for the weak, we have always helped those in need and surly with our own wars to fight we cannot spare many men to go over and help in the fighting like our European brothers are doing, but is exhausting an already exhausted account the way to do it?

well, awesome

So I just checked my email. Its been a weekend of craziness and fun, and no homework. As my free monday rolls around i decide to check my email. I have a research paper peer review due. Fan-freakin-tastic. I am sure that all my readers (my mother included) that if i was to tell you how long i had had this assignment (since February) and the amount that i have done (a very very rough outline) you would be disappointed. Hell, I'm dissappointed in me. Now i could just start writing it right now. But Hulu and Blogger are so much more interesting. so Here is my semi public vow to start after my meeting, errands, dinner and hanging out. Then i will get right on to that paper so that i can have SOMETHING to turn in and get some sort of a grade on.

hahaha we will see how well that goes.