A blog a day for a year

So I always start blogging, and then later I stop, usually a blog post or two later. So this is my commitment. That I will do a Blog Post a day for a year. I am not promising brilliance, nor long posts. But i will try to write everyday. So today I'm going to start with something about me that many people don't know about me.

I love writing and would love to one day publish a book. I currently have 5 novels going. I switch between them when I get inspired and have been working on one of them since high school. It's a long time I know. I have a lot written. Most of it is garbage but I just am so in love with the characters and the plot and the world I created that I can't even think for one second to let them go! The worst part about writing though is sharing your work. What you think is ground breaking, eloquent and well thought out tends to be, at least in my case, half thoughts that don't make any sense. One of my favorite quotes is by Hemingway when he says "write drunk. Edit sober" This phrase really rings true to me. Not because I like getting drunk, my love affair with a good cab non withstanding, but because when you're drunk your inhibitions are cleared your mind is free and my imagination soars! I find that I can completely explore the life I have created for the character. But then obviously when you're sober and you see the grammar and the misspelled words you also see the idea the beauty and the brilliance behind the idea.

I would have to say that there is nothing more satisfying in all the world to look at what you have written and to be happy with it. To hear what you created read aloud and it sounds like a real novel. Of course I fall prey to the feelings every writer has the third fourth and fifth time they hear their work and begin to scrutinize it and see every error and where a whole new idea could have been born. It's absolutely satisfying and heart breaking all at the same time.

It is also hard when you dont have another writer in your life because sometimes it is hard for other people to understand why you feel the need to be antisocial one day because you had a moment of inspiration. Or to nervously chew your fingers as you give someone a passage to read that you have labored at (for years in my case) and wait to hear their verdict, but not wanting to hear at the same time. It's a terribly wonderful feeling....or did I mean wonderfully terrible?? Might actually just be terrible.

Anyways, any site you go to tells you that writing everyday is the key to getting better, and as much as I want to believe I was born with an amazing god given great talent. But we can all clearly see that isn't true. So I truly hope that over the course of this year that my writing will grow as much as possible!  

My visit home!

This weekend I got to celebrate the marriage of one of my dearest and oldest friends, and also, my cousin. She has been so dear in my life for so long, and it was so amazing to celebrate this special day with her. With my job and such, I needed to leave the morning of. At 4:15 I was wide awake (who am I kidding? Barely awake), Three hours later, with the largest coffee I could find, I was boarding the airplane ready to head to WA.

I love seeing my friends and my family. I love going to them and catching up and seeing the incredible things that these girls are doing. Of the 9 of us that have remained friends, (now) are married. We are all in so many different places in our lives, but it is so wonderful that we can maintain our friendship and support each other in our lives.

My favorite part of the weekend was spending the last few hours I was home for talking with my mom. She is such an amazing woman and I love exchanging ideas with her. We have so many similar interest and our careers are taking us down a very similar path. So it is amazing to have her in my life. And to have her as a stable person in my life. She has so much talent and so much passion for what she does.

It is so easy to take things for granted, especially the good things that you have had all your life. My parents are so selfless and so giving to their family, always doing things for us and keeping us in their best interest all the time. They have been so constant and so supportive and I know that I would not be half of the women that I am today without them.

I love my life!

Vegas conference

This conference has been so amazing so far and it is only the second day in!! The speakers have such amazing and one of a kind experience and knowledge. The events that they show us are beyond incredible and I still cannot fathom how they thought up these ideas and visions! I would love to grab a drink with any one of these coordinators and just pick their brains. They are truly amazing.
One of the biggest and most important things that I have learned and seen is that you cannot be afraid to be yourself. If you want something go ahead and get it! Only you can get in your way. My favorite thing said was to be true to your self and your product. Don't be afraid to know what you cost and accept nothing less. Don't undersell yourself because you want to make a client happy.

Love what I'm seeing and can't wait to see my career grow in this industry.

Trade show tomorrow!!

The Lazy ship has set sail

Here is the thing, I have been so busy and it has been so hot that when I do have a moment that I am not working or babysitting, I just want to sleep. So I have slacked off seriously in my digital life. However my life is sorta changing a lot. My boyfriend of almost two years has an opportunity in DC so in a week we will start the long distance train all over again. He is going to do amazing over there and it really is the best thing for him. But it's gonna be a long four months.

I have three automatic ways to deal with stress.
1. Eating I have no money for new clothes or the plethora of food needed so that's gotta be out. Which leads me to...
2. drinking....well as my friends from Ireland will tell you sad mallory+alcohol =crying Mallory= worse situation then before. Plus no money.
3. Shopping. This is my personal fave, but as noted in #1&2 no money :(

Sooooooo what does this lead to? DIY projects!!!!! My house (and by house I mean apartment (and by apartment I mean room)) will be the cutest ever. I have so many ideas already, so this week I will be doing nothing more than some slight pouting and trying to spend as much time as possible with my boy, then it will be the start of many crafts for me. So if you are looking for some good home improvement ideas stick around and I'll give you some good ideas......hopefully.

I am a mountain.

Ha I wish. There are so many things I wish i was good at. One thing even. That at the end of the day I am this. I am not though. I have strengths, everyone does, I have things that I can pick up easily but i am in no way good. Marilyn Monroe has been somewhat of an inspiration for me lately. I have tried so hard to pretend that things don't bug me. That I am completely happy where I am and with who I am. That my goals are close and attainable, That i have no feelings of inadequacy.

It is hard. I have things that bug me. In securities that creep out. I could blame the tormentors of my past. But i have to acknowledge that it is I who give those claims weight. I am the one who lets it get to me. I still have wants. Needs. desires. requirements.

Truth be told, I will settle for less than i actually want unless i really push my self to not do that. It is hard.

I don't want to be this way. But who really does?

Life is what you make it, Sure, but there is only so much that you can do at a time. I can try but i am who i am. I have things that i need and want and it doesn't matter if i constantly repress these desires, I always want them. I have the normal desires; to be loved, to be successful, to thrive, to be wealthy. But there are other things that i want that sometimes i am embarrassed to say.

It is scary and hard to admit that your life is not where you want it. But admitting it, if only to your self is the first step in changing it i suppose.

I am a real person?

My Brother is graduated from High school. 

Yikes. 

I remember when I graduated from High School. It was not that long ago. I wanted to be anything and everything. I had like 5 potential jobs for my life. They were all grand, let me tell ya.

I was going to be a writer, own a book shop, a historian and part time archaeologist, I was going to see the world, probably join the peace corps and definitely win the Nobel Peace prize...or a tony.......

I had great dreams and was so free. I wanted to do everything that I could and wasn't about to let anything get in my way. 

When I look back on these 4 years since high school. I have accomplished a few of my goals, I got to see Europe, (though all that trip did was make the list of places to see grow even longer), and I have continued to write (the book has never been finished, but i do practice on the internet every now and then)...

And my list has definitely changed and matured, I mean I want to find a good job, I get to move out and have my own place, and I moved to California. I have grown up a lot in the past four years. A lot in two years and then a lot more in the next two years. 

I hope that in the next 4 years of my life, I will continue to grow but also not forget the dreams that I had when I was younger.

Being on this side of graduation I want to stress to all the younger people in college or heading there; don't waste time. Do exactly the things that you want to do. Don't worry about what people will think or if you will like it, or if you are nervous. The worst that can happen is that you fail at it. But at least you tried there are times that i look back at school and think what if? I am happy with where my life is, but there are other choices that i could have made in college that i wish i had, because when i look back i realize what i was afraid of really isnt a big deal.

So congrats all you high school grads. You are about to head out on the great adventure towards adulthood. =)

Ode to Google.

I have recently re-established my love for stand up comedy, and have started playing it on my Pandora Channel. (Thank God for Pandora right?) It is great. I get to listen to funny segments from the greatest comedians, Jerry Seinfeld, to the not so great, Frank...that guy who had a comedy central tv show for about a minute. I love it. If i was funnier i would be a standup comedian. It would literally be the best job ever, but because thats who my life works, i was born a girl and well, 99% of female comedians arent funny. 

But something that one person said really struck me. He said we are in the age of google. If you arent getting perfect grades in school you are either retarded or you are lazy. You can type in something from your bed and get hundreds of thousands of pages on it. You can lay in bed and type a few words in and have enough information to write a complete encyclopedia on it. 

Not too long ago you had to go to a library, go through all the cards in the dewey decimal system and then search the library to find one of the seven or eight books you were looking for. talk about terrible! I would have probably failed school because when i research something. I will spend at most an hour locating and gleaning information from these places. Thats it. One (1) hour. If i have to spend more than that, i am many things: angry, disgruntled and i stop caring. I will then proceed to stop caring for the rest of the semester. 

Thank God for google.

The worst part of this whole thing is that we are still stupid!!! We have the world of information at our finger tips, literally less than a minute away and still we cannot seem to educate people enough for real conversations. I am so disappointed in society. 

Well time for me to sign off. Dont want to miss "Only in America" with Larry the Cable Guy.....

;)