Work Life Balance

I was talking to my mom the other day about my future, my goals, and then my career path overall. I realized that there are SO many areas that I am fascinated by and am so interested in, how can I pick just one? And furthermore, do I have to pick just one?

Can you be a successful human being who attempts to make money in several different, but equally emotional jobs? Can one strive to be a writer, an event planner, a crafter and a blogger? Can you balance being a mom with having a life?

I have said some very naive things in the past to people about gender roles and about what being a woman means in society today. I have grown a lot, learned a lot and have come to the conclusion that women should live the lives that work for them. Whether that is being a stay at home mom or working 100 hours per week.

But what does that mean for me? How do I the person choose the right path. I guess what scares me the most is that when you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to everything else. How do you chose what to devote your self to. Even if you devote your life to the pursuits that make you feel satisfied and fulfilled you are invariably giving up additional parts of your life, relationships, travel, family time.

How do you find the balance to do what you love, while developing your community and fostering the friendships. I think that that balance is something that everyone struggles with and will continue to find the line and the balance through out your life.

And maybe it changes over time, maybe some years you focus on work, and others it is on your personal life. Maybe that is how it is supposed to be, because it needs to reflect your needs.

Life is a choice, you are always going to be giving up something to do something else. I guess you have to say yes to the things that excite you and live in the moment. You may miss out on some great opportunities, but I think you will make a lot of great memories both professionally and personally. 

Fall 2014

I cannot believe that it is already August! Life has flown by, as it always tends to do, but things are really starting to get back on track.

If you didn't know, I did get married in June. It was a beautiful day, and it went perfectly, better than I could have imagined. You can go over to my planning blog to see some pictures!

With August rolling in it means it is time to start thinking of fall, and back to school. Not that I am going back to school, or that I have any children to get ready, but I think that fall is time to start fresh. It seems like a new year to me. Like the perfect time to put any plans into action.

Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons, you have beautiful weather, get to wear over-sized sweaters and boots. It's a great time to pick fresh fruits and veggies, to stroll outdoor markets and to sip warm lattes. I love it.

This fall is no different. I have quite a few goals that I want to achieve this fall and there are even more things that I am looking forward to!

Fall Wardrobe:
I have been looking at the new trends for this fall, and I have to say, I am SO excited! Long jackets, layers, jeans, everything this season looks so comfy.

                          

I cannot decide if I want to keep my hair long, which I do love, but I have spent the past 2 years growing it out. Or if I should get a new do for fall. I am just torn. I also am so excited for the fashion trends!! Want more? You can always follow my pinterest board here!

Events:
Between Labor-day, my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving there is so much to do and see! I hope to spend some time going on trips, (Can you say new England for my Birthday?) I am so excited! I have already started building it on Roadtrippers (check it here!)

Mallory's Birthday Weekend | My new trip on Roadtrippers.com!

I also have plans to have host a pumpkin carving party, but first I need to get my house in order. Which brings me to my next thing.

Goals:
I would really like to start cooking more. I need to get into the habit of cooking every night and buying some good healthy ingredients. I'd like to start channeling my inner Nancy.

I also would like to have the 2nd and widely expanded draft of my novel complete. That way when I participate in Nanowrimo in November, I can start book 2.

I also would like to work on styling my house. I need a few key pieces of furniture, but balancing that with paying off our debt is tough. I would like to find some sort of hutch or bakers rack that is not going to break the bank!

What are you excited about for fall?

1/2 way done with moving!

If you have been following me on Facebook, you know that we are in the process of moving. Moving is, in a word, sucky hard. The worst part of it is that moment when you are feeling good about the progress you have made, and then you go back to your old place and see all the other stuff you forgot, or need to still get. 

But, the great part of moving is that you begin to have a new space to dream in. If your like me, you get rejunvinated and inspired by the new quirks that your apt has. My space is a tad oddly shaped so we had some trouble learning how to place everything to make it look good!

We spent last weekend with out internet (Gasp!). It is supposed to be coming today, so that will be great! Here are some preliminary pictures of our new 1 br! 

Fiance, Kevin, is really excited to get painting! Can you tell??

We painted the bedroom Green and Blue, we need to get some pallets to tone down the blue and add my county rustic vibe that I am going for.

Here is our entryway.

 Gallery wall before and after!

Revisited---Bucket list

A year ago last April I did a Bucket List. You can see the original post here. I have decided to relook at my list and see what I have accomplished and what I have decided to add!

1. Live in another country for at least a year
2. Own my own business --Events By Mallory!!!
3. Publish at least ONE of the books I have started.
4. See a flash mob Finished this one!!! Thank you Eric and the boys of Dead off Center!! Follow them here:Facebook or @deadoffcenter
5. Be IN a flashmob (obvious reasons as to why this would be appealing to me)
6. Go rock climbing
7. Visit every state (I think I am 13 or 14 out of 50)
8. Write, record, and publish a rap Look on FB I have one. heard people want lyrics. I can post them!
9. Do 1 gig as a stand up comedian.
10. get 1K followers on Twitter
11. Get 10K page views on my blog
12. see all of the wonders of the world, both natural and man-made
13. road trip across America
14. back pack at least 1 European country
15. become completely debt free
16. Have an entourage
17. Be VIP at a party
18. Fly first class
19. Run a marathon
20. Go on an archaeological dig
21. Sky Dive
22. Scuba Dive
23. Go to every Continent

24. Stop spending money on new clothes, and try to refashion/thrift most of my purchases from here on out.

25. Go to Italy

I haven't done too much in this past year, I did pick up and move to another country and paid off a couple thousand in debt, so that's good. I am excited to see where this year will take me!

Life is changing

What do you want to be when you grow up?

That question has plagued me since I was little. I have wanted to be so many things, but its hard to commit to one thing. Sure, there is no crime with switching careers through out your life, but I am having such a hard time finding one thing to pour my love into. I feel like a mess, I want to write, I want to plan events, I want to be a mom, I want to work from home, I want to try real estate, I want to work in DC, I want to travel, I want to even live abroad. There is so much that I feel like I can do, and want to try, but how do I know where to go?

I just get so impatient waiting for things. I mean I am being active, I am actively pursuing these things, but I feel like there is a bit of waiting to reap the benefits. I hope to be successful, and hope to grow in my career, but I feel like I have to start somewhere and grow.

My ultimate goal is to own an Event Planning business. As most of you know, I have been doing that on the side, but I am no where near being able to do that full time. But I am stuck, because I don't feel like I have the time or finances to actually expand and market it full time. So I need something to be a second love until I have the ability to make the leap. So what am I doing to figure out where I need to be?

I am starting to do some informational interviews. I am meeting with other professionals in jobs that I am interested in, and finding out if I think it would be right for me. I am really excited, I have my first meeting tonight with a Real Estate Agent. I hope that it opens my eyes to what the job is really like. I feel like that will be something that I can do and grow with and do while I develop an events career. I am excited to see if this venture will be something that I am interested in, and if it is, I will be excited to start the journey. If not, then I suppose I will find another professional and pick their brain.


Life is exciting and a total journey. I am loving my journey and loving the way my life is turning out! Wedding planning, jobs, DC, Summer, it's all happening and keeping me busy! Make sure you get out there and don't waste a day 

My Struggle with Debt

"Live like no one else, so later, you can live like no one else." -Dave Ramsey

Debt absolutely, 100%, sucks. Like sucks so bad I want to punch it in the face and stomp on it while cussing it out. I hate it. Now I know most people do, I mean no one LIKES having debt. But I don't know how I could actually live with it. As a natural wanderer, I find not having the freedom to do what I want almost soul crushing. I just look at all these things that I want to do and realize me debt is what is keeping me from fulfilling that role. 

One of the things that just really gets me is all the money I send to the banks. I have paid off 1 loan, but my MINIMUM monthly payment on my student loans....$756.21 That is what goes out of my pocket automatically for my student loans. BTWs I make $1055 a paycheck. Luckily I have a financially sound Fiance who lets me pay a lower portion of rent. So my rent and my loans are $1156. If I had to pay full rent in DC, I would not make enough money with a full time job to pay loans, rent, gas and food. Not to mention anything fun! 

The hardest thing for me is my credit card. I finally had to cut it up. I didnt have the self control for my "emergency" card to be used outside of emergencies. I had to get rid of it. Which is scary for me. It was almost nice having that much money there if I needed it. Although it would not be nice to continually get my self into it. 

I don't mean this to complain. Because I am working hard at getting out of debt, but I wonderfully got engaged! So now I am splitting my left over money after necessities, between a wedding fund and paying off that loan a little quicker. It is really tough. I always feel like I am not doing enough. But I am doing the best I can. My new date is still mid 2015, but that seems like a lifetime away. 

I have so many things that I want to do. I want to write, I want to travel, want to live abroad, want to own my own business, want to have the freedom to build wealth. But I cannot do that with debt. That is why I am taking a stand and getting out. 

Sorry for the rant. Today was pay day, I usually get both depressed and excited when payday comes. My whole check has been spent already, but I am that much closer to being completely out!

Mini DIY Project

So I have been having major depression about my apartment. It is totally safe and secure which is fantastic, but it is just dreary. So I am on a mission to do some totally cheap renovations to satisfy my craftiness and my need for a semi nice house!

So I had two tables that we had bought that were just plain and a little drab. One was purchased at Ikea and one at Target. I think that they were about $10 each. Here is what it looked like before. Plus a cat.

Then I bought these Gold Corners for them on Amazon...here is a link to them. They cost me just over $9 including shipping, but they come with 8 corners and all the screws for it! Our house is decorated in black gray and yellow, so I thought that the gold would be a great addition to it!

Then I added the gold corners. I found that the Corners didn't fit perfectly on my table, so they dont lay exactly flat on the sides of the tables. But I made sure that they laid as flat as possible on the top. 

Here is what they looked like done! The whole project took about 20 mins, and cost me at the time less than $10! Just need to add some flowers on my side of the bed and I will be all set!

I would also like to add a huge shout out to Kevin, because there was a moment when I was about to chuck our screw driver at the wall from frustration with the tiny screws and he came and helped me whip it out!

January 3rd 2013

I can honestly not believe that it is 2013. I have been in VA for 6 months (seriously?!) I feel like I just moved about a week ago!

People always ask me how I like it here I used to give out joyful exclamations of love for this swampy, wet place. But I quickly have changed my attitude to give more realistic ones. --don't get me wrong I do love being here, but there is a huge part of me that is not quite yet ready to commit to this place.

I absolutely love being with Kevin here. That is definitely the best part about DC. I love being in the same State as him, and able to see him when ever I want. That is something that I treasure so much, and I was able to see what life was like with out him for a long time. (Ok long might be a bit of a hyperbole it was only about a year, and I was lucky enough to see him about every 6 weeks but still it felt LONG) I think I was lucky to have this experience though because now when we are together all the time, 3 years later, we are still able to explore and find things to do, and go on adventures together because we haven't always been able to do that.

Secondly, I LOVE the type of people that I am meeting. There are so many young (23-35) professionals in the area, everyone has some really sweet jobs and most people are really open to talking to you, and listening to what you do and thinking how we can help each other. Its a really great time. Also there are a lot of entrepreneurial folks out here that give lots of encouragement to people like me and Kevin who are just starting businesses.

Thirdly I am so in love with the East Coast. There is something magical about knowing so many life changing things happened in the place you're standing. One thing that I love about moving is that you get to be a tourist! The hard thing is, people who are local don't really take advantage of all that their city offers because the magic is gone, in that they grew up there it can be a "big Whoop" moment. It has been so fun being here with Kevin and really exploring the city! We have found so many hidden gems all over this city, its incredible, and really makes me think what secrets Snohomish, Monroe and Seattle are hiding!

Also my cats. This is how they sleep. Can you see the desperation in Hayden's eyes? 

However, all this to be said, I am not sold here forever. Thankfully, Kevin isn't either. Its too cold! I don't like snow, and just want to wear dresses all day. Also, its too hot in the summer! Maybe not too hot, just too much humidity. Its gross. But I suppose I cannot compare every place I live to the perfection of So Cal. (but really I can). I miss my friends spread all over the coast, and I miss my family as equally spread. I miss all the babies my cousins have, and I miss being part of their lives.

So whats next and when is this next taking place? I wish I knew! All I know, is that I am excited to be on this adventure with my best friend.

Maybe I have this wrong.

2 things people should know about me before I start this off.

1. I HATE conflict between people I love. It stresses me out to no end. Makes my insides squeam and crawl. I can;t sleep over it sometimes. Makes me anxious. This is just over two people I love fighting...not even me in an argument.
2. My family is full of the most stubborn, religious and caring people in the world, but boy are they stubborn. They are drawn right down the line on their politics and I am fairly sure that each one would die for their politics. They believe deeply all that they believe. Which is a great thing! I whole heartedly believe that both sides working together is the only way that progress happens and that both sides are fighting for a better world.

I think it is easy to see all the differences in the arguments because we like seeing differences. We see something hear something that we don't like and we want to put as much distance from that person or idea as we possibly can. And in many cases that may be true, but can we see what we agree on?

A HUGE example is the war on welfare. Obviously more liberal minded people can feel that the government should take care of the poor and elderly and sick. Society should take care of them through the government. A Liberal can also see a Conservative as heartless because they don't believe that the government should take care of the aforementioned poor, elderly or sick. It is easy to look at that and say, well "Republicans hate poor people" but we forget that many of the Republicans donate large amounts of money to charities, churches and other institutions that help the sick elderly and poor (actually the top 1% donates more than the other 99% combined). They are just doing it in a different way.

What I am trying to say, and maybe i am not eloquent enough to articulate it correctly is that we are all the same. We have a passion, a belief, a view for a better tomorrow and we work so hard to see that happen. Would a liberal minded person vote for a Republican who promised not to change any laws affecting women's rights, gay marriage, or medicare? Would a Republican vote for someone who would not change those laws either but would fight to cut the spending?

 Both parties see a better America, both offer solutions to create that place. My thought is can we lay the differences aside and work for a tomorrow. Not a better one. Not a brighter one. Not a more equal one. but one where we are existing and thriving again as a country. One that offered real solutions. One where we accept that it takes sacrifice and hard work. One that teaches everyone what it means to support each other. One where we help our neighbors where the Gov't can't afford to.

We all want a brighter America. We all want the dream. We all can achieve the dream. But the reason we don't is because we have forgotten that it doesn't happen overnight, in years, maybe even in your lifetime. If you come to this country as an immigrant. you may not become rich, maybe your kids get an education, then they are successful and they propel their kids to be more successful. If you start out in poverty you honestly won't be a millionaire by the time you die. But you can improve, you can walk up the ladder. And as a country we can walk up the ladder. We can give everyone the rights they deserve and then teach them to better themselves. Teach them to go and take their future. But we can only do that together. Right and left coming together working together and loving together.

I hope it makes sense. Maybe I got it wrong.

The Brightside

It's easy for me to forget how lucky I am sometimes. I have a truly blessed life, and sometimes it is so much easier to look at the negative or the wants then to look at all the amazing things I am surrounded by. Every now and then it is good for me to take a step back and just remind myself of the great things that I have and that I am doing.

As many people know, I am in the middle of the interview process, waiting to hear back after they check my references. Waiting is killing me! You have no idea, I am impatient, love surprises, but hate waiting for them! This whole process has taken about 3 weeks and there have been times where I am discouraged or anxious about the whole process, but I need to remember that not only am I in the running for a full time position, in my field, but that I also am working while I am waiting and things are working out OK. I have been so blessed and lucky in this and there are so many less fortunate than I. I have also been able to start my own side business, not to mention Capital Couples, which I have been helping Kevin on.

Secondly, I have a truly amazing boyfriend. There are times when he exasperates me beyond belief, times when I would like one moment alone in our too small apt, but at the end of the day, I am still glad that he is beside me. Never have I felt as loved, cared for and cherished as I do when I am with him. I am lucky to have him in my life and can't believe it has already been 3 years. I am excited for this new chapter in the adventure that is our relationship. He is so good about finding new and exciting things for us to do.

Finally, the support I have from my friends and family is completely overwhelming. I can only begin to imagine my life with out them. It is nice to know that you have someone to turn to if anything were to fall out of place. I also have been making a few new friends in DC and that has been really cool as well.

So basically, this was a quick short blog to thank everyone for being so loving and wonderful, and a time to sit and reflect on all the great things, instead of the anxiety that life can bring to distract you from all that is right.

A Walk Down Memory Lane, that you may remember

Moving away is hard. It is hard to leave the people you love. Whether its to go to a new place filled with people you love but don't necessarily know too well, or to a place where you know no one, its hard. And while change is exciting and fun, its also scary and stressful. But you make some great memories doing it. I have friends in many different places, all with my own experiences and memories of them. And its so fun, from time to time, to go creep on their facebooks, to move from person to person that I went to high school with, was best friends in 1st grade with, or even just met at a random event, it is great to check them out and remember what we shared in that moment, or even who I was at that time.

I love looking at peoples pages of who I went to High School with. Its great seeing the lame lives of people who bullied me, or the great things that my favorite friends from them are doing. Its so weird to look at the lives of the people who you used to be so close to, but after one summer all drifted apart. Its fun to remember that perfect summer with your best friends, spent by the lake. Or the surprise party you threw for your best friend. Or the awesome trip to the zoo with my favorite person in College and her friends.

The weirdest part for me, is to look back through all these years of friends and acquaintances and to remember who I was then. My life and personality has been constantly developing and changing and growing to make me the person that I am today. I have become that person through a lot of different experiences and relationships and realizations. It is really great, but weird to see what was important to you at those moments.

I am looking to start a new location, and a new chapter in my life, and I am excited for it, but at the same time, not sure how ready I am to move on. I get bored easy when I stay in one place for too long, and so I want to be somewhere new for a while and just move around, and explore the great things that this earth has to offer while I can. But it is really hard to do, to leave behind all you know.

I guess you just have to trust that there is a greater plan that is being put into motion and that it is just about trusting that you are going to end up where you are meant to end up. And that is all that you can really do.

My Bucket list

I want a Bucket List, I mean I HAVE a bucketlist. Things to do before I die, but I want to say here they are world hold me accountable and let me do them! So I am going to post one. Did I mention that I dont actually know what a private life is? I am not really sure why people don't want to know every detail about my life, buut obviously they should!

1. Live in another country for at least a year
2. Own my own business
3. Publish at least ONE of the books I have started.
4. See a flash mob Finished this one!!! Thank you Eric and the boys of Dead off Center!! Follow them here: Facebook or @deadoffcenter
5. Be IN a flashmob (obvious reasons as to why this would be appealing to me)
6. Go rock climbing
7. Visit every state (I think I am 13 or 14 out of 50)
8. Write, record, and publish a rap Look on FB I have one. heard people want lyrics. I can post them!
9. Do 1 gig as a stand up comedian.
10. get 1K followers on Twitter
11. Get 10K page views on my blog
12. see all of the wonders of the world
13. road trip across America
14. back pack at least 1 European country
15. become completely debt free
16. Have an entourage
17. Be VIP at a party
18. Fly first class
19. Run a marathon
20. Go on an archaeological dig

These 20 things are all I can think of, but now they are online, anyone can see them and hold me accountable,  for these things and let me know when there are these opportunities. Please let me know!

Moulin Rouge aaannd Phantom of the Opera

This day, ohhh this day...well to say the least, it has been annoying. And its not like really crazy, its the kind of stuff where after talking about it people are like.....thats it? But when you are in it, its like basically apocalyptic. So in my best effort to forget about my first world problems, I got my Jack in the Box tacos. Came home, whipped out a puzzle, and watched me some Phantom of the Opera. I am now on to an old time favorite, Moulin Rouge.

There is something about musicals that really just make me happy about musical. It can be the most depressing story ever and I just feel so inspired afterwards I feel so happy. There is something about watching for me that is the same as a first kiss or a beautiful summer day. Life is good afterwards.

Also a big birthday Shout out to little brother Dylan!!! Happy 19th Birthday!!!!!

I'm Back!

This has been an eventful week. (Well I know. Its been since last Friday, but lets just call it a week.) I got to see Kevin. He came up for Easter, and then spent the week with him. It was awesome. But it was hard, he went back today. So don't mind the depression or the alcohol, but I am here to blog, and will be for the foreseeable future.

This has been a really chill mellow week for me, but a crazy eventful one at the same time. You don't think that that is possible, I know, but I will tell you all about it!

First thing, Friday of last week I had a great time out with friends, I got to hang out with a friend that was MIA since he was in a relationship, it was really great to catch up with him, he is a really nice guy. But the girlfriend reeled him back in, so I doubt we will be seeing him anytime soon. I deleted them from Facebook, just to minimize some potential drama, because I don't need that in my life. But it is a big deal because I NEVER delete people from Facebook. Like seriously never. I feel bad when I do it, but I know that it is the best thing to do, so I made the decision.

I don't know why I can't delete people. I don't feel anything from having them as my friends, there are some people on my list that I rarely have any interaction with. Even when I do, it is just stalking someone, seeing what they are up to. But I just can't bring myself to delete people. And I pretty much accept ANYONE. Its almost a sickness.

Secondly, I had a great staff meeting for work. It was really good to see what everyone else was planning for our Candyland event. It will be a huge event in September/October. We do a carnival type event and this year we are doing Candyland! It will be so cute! Pinterest has been my lifesaver. I have found some really great things on there. I am in charge of decor and signage, so I have found some really great ideas off of Pinterest and from what my coworkers have sent me from things that they have found. I am really excited about this event.

For my personal Carnival Day in June, I worked on it last week, and have booked a location, have my petting zoo, my magic show, my balloon animals, and my games almost all sorted out. I have to do my site walk and order some cupcakes coming up. I am planning on making a cupcake carousel too with animal crackers. I am super stoked. But before that can happen. I have my cake decorating class, which is going to be full, and then a couples trip to Magic Mountain! Going to be super fun times.

Finally, Kevin and I had such a great time together. I really love my life with him. It is just so natural. I mean the first dayish is weird and not like real life, but we quickly fall back into the routine of our life. It is nice to have these days with him, but it is almost bittersweet. We get to hang out and spend all day together, (minus the time spent at work) and then we have to go back to only texting/phone calls again. I feel like we get used to each other, and we have such a good time, and then we have to say good bye. We have spent more of our time apart or long distance than we have in the same city. Which has been really hard, but I think that it really has made us stronger and we are sure of what we want now. Its a big challenge sometimes, but the time we have together makes it all worth it.

See you all tomorrow ;)

My Visit With Grandma and Grandpa

My family is huge. On both sides. They are a loud, opinionated. passionate, loving, and a little crazy bunch, but I love them all dearly. I have family spread out all over the west coast, from Southern California all the way up to Washington, where my parents live. I don't get to see the family that lives far away that often.Usually only when babies are born, graduations, weddings, and the occasional reunion or vacation. But when we do get to see each other it is a great time.

Tonight I got a surprise call from my Grandparents from Santa Rosa, CA. They were down in LA for the night and wanted to know if I could go see them. It was such a great surprise at the end of the day to get and to have the opportunity to spend some time with them before they headed back north. I drove down there after work and met up with them at their hotel. We went to dinner and talked the night away and were able to catch up on our lives.

I think the best part about seeing them, for me, is realizing how the relationships change with adults as you become one. Sometimes I forget that I am not a little girl anymore. That my parents, friends, grandparents people in general see me as an adult. Well, maybe not people in general, or people who just met me. I know I look really young, and act even younger so I am sure people think I am an immature high schooler sometimes, but aside from that, people do see me as an adult. That honestly brings a bit of responsibility and scariness that I am not ready for.

I can't wait around to get into something that I really want to do. Or wait to pursue my dream until I'm older and wiser, because I get the feeling that there is no magic age where you feel grown up or where you decide that you know enough. I feel like these grown ups that I have been looking at my whole lives for answers are just guessing too. They know what they did and what worked for them and try to give you the best advice they can. I guess that that is how everyone is, just guessing, making the best decisions they can with the information that they have. Thats normal I feel.

But how can you be an adult if you don't feel like that? I mean it is easy to feel like "Well, I am paying off my school loans then my life will start!" Or "After my long distance boyfriend and I get married, my real life will begin." Or even, "I'll be responsible and start living my life and accomplishing things when I am a grown up" I guess it just reinforces that you need to seize the day, live your life, and start working towards the things that you want to accomplish, because you are a grown up. I am a grown up.

I am a grown up.

Yikes.

My Favorite Little Boogers!

When I moved to Southern California I left behind my whole family, and a ton of my friends. It was going to be a crazy adventure and I did have my family down here to keep me safe and happy. Growing up they were always "The California Cousins" I saw them once or twice a year and we had a great time, but I didn't know much about them. When I moved down here, I got to watch them get pregnant (twice each), give birth (twice each), and then watch all those children grow up.

These are obviously not ALL cousins

It has been such a fun part of my life to watch these children grow up and learn new things. I have loved babysitting them and seeing them discover the world. It is amazing to see them have their own personalities and talk and their own sense of humors. They are each the most special and most perfect little angels.

Obviously I love all my cousins kids, and miss the ones in Wa that I don't get to see as much, but it has been a great time here and I love all the Babies =)

My visit home!

This weekend I got to celebrate the marriage of one of my dearest and oldest friends, and also, my cousin. She has been so dear in my life for so long, and it was so amazing to celebrate this special day with her. With my job and such, I needed to leave the morning of. At 4:15 I was wide awake (who am I kidding? Barely awake), Three hours later, with the largest coffee I could find, I was boarding the airplane ready to head to WA.

I love seeing my friends and my family. I love going to them and catching up and seeing the incredible things that these girls are doing. Of the 9 of us that have remained friends, (now) are married. We are all in so many different places in our lives, but it is so wonderful that we can maintain our friendship and support each other in our lives.

My favorite part of the weekend was spending the last few hours I was home for talking with my mom. She is such an amazing woman and I love exchanging ideas with her. We have so many similar interest and our careers are taking us down a very similar path. So it is amazing to have her in my life. And to have her as a stable person in my life. She has so much talent and so much passion for what she does.

It is so easy to take things for granted, especially the good things that you have had all your life. My parents are so selfless and so giving to their family, always doing things for us and keeping us in their best interest all the time. They have been so constant and so supportive and I know that I would not be half of the women that I am today without them.

I love my life!

The Lazy ship has set sail

Here is the thing, I have been so busy and it has been so hot that when I do have a moment that I am not working or babysitting, I just want to sleep. So I have slacked off seriously in my digital life. However my life is sorta changing a lot. My boyfriend of almost two years has an opportunity in DC so in a week we will start the long distance train all over again. He is going to do amazing over there and it really is the best thing for him. But it's gonna be a long four months.

I have three automatic ways to deal with stress.
1. Eating I have no money for new clothes or the plethora of food needed so that's gotta be out. Which leads me to...
2. drinking....well as my friends from Ireland will tell you sad mallory+alcohol =crying Mallory= worse situation then before. Plus no money.
3. Shopping. This is my personal fave, but as noted in #1&2 no money :(

Sooooooo what does this lead to? DIY projects!!!!! My house (and by house I mean apartment (and by apartment I mean room)) will be the cutest ever. I have so many ideas already, so this week I will be doing nothing more than some slight pouting and trying to spend as much time as possible with my boy, then it will be the start of many crafts for me. So if you are looking for some good home improvement ideas stick around and I'll give you some good ideas......hopefully.

I am a mountain.

Ha I wish. There are so many things I wish i was good at. One thing even. That at the end of the day I am this. I am not though. I have strengths, everyone does, I have things that I can pick up easily but i am in no way good. Marilyn Monroe has been somewhat of an inspiration for me lately. I have tried so hard to pretend that things don't bug me. That I am completely happy where I am and with who I am. That my goals are close and attainable, That i have no feelings of inadequacy.

It is hard. I have things that bug me. In securities that creep out. I could blame the tormentors of my past. But i have to acknowledge that it is I who give those claims weight. I am the one who lets it get to me. I still have wants. Needs. desires. requirements.

Truth be told, I will settle for less than i actually want unless i really push my self to not do that. It is hard.

I don't want to be this way. But who really does?

Life is what you make it, Sure, but there is only so much that you can do at a time. I can try but i am who i am. I have things that i need and want and it doesn't matter if i constantly repress these desires, I always want them. I have the normal desires; to be loved, to be successful, to thrive, to be wealthy. But there are other things that i want that sometimes i am embarrassed to say.

It is scary and hard to admit that your life is not where you want it. But admitting it, if only to your self is the first step in changing it i suppose.

I am a real person?

My Brother is graduated from High school. 

Yikes. 

I remember when I graduated from High School. It was not that long ago. I wanted to be anything and everything. I had like 5 potential jobs for my life. They were all grand, let me tell ya.

I was going to be a writer, own a book shop, a historian and part time archaeologist, I was going to see the world, probably join the peace corps and definitely win the Nobel Peace prize...or a tony.......

I had great dreams and was so free. I wanted to do everything that I could and wasn't about to let anything get in my way. 

When I look back on these 4 years since high school. I have accomplished a few of my goals, I got to see Europe, (though all that trip did was make the list of places to see grow even longer), and I have continued to write (the book has never been finished, but i do practice on the internet every now and then)...

And my list has definitely changed and matured, I mean I want to find a good job, I get to move out and have my own place, and I moved to California. I have grown up a lot in the past four years. A lot in two years and then a lot more in the next two years. 

I hope that in the next 4 years of my life, I will continue to grow but also not forget the dreams that I had when I was younger.

Being on this side of graduation I want to stress to all the younger people in college or heading there; don't waste time. Do exactly the things that you want to do. Don't worry about what people will think or if you will like it, or if you are nervous. The worst that can happen is that you fail at it. But at least you tried there are times that i look back at school and think what if? I am happy with where my life is, but there are other choices that i could have made in college that i wish i had, because when i look back i realize what i was afraid of really isnt a big deal.

So congrats all you high school grads. You are about to head out on the great adventure towards adulthood. =)